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Joined: Nov 2012
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I've been working hard and it's up and down for me. I will try to continue to move. I think I am depressed as another member noted. Where can I find Big Bruce's interesting insights?


Heartbroken5
Me:38|H:40
Together: 10 years
Married:5
BD: May 2013
No children
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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I really don't think Big Bruce is a good example.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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I read your post from East Indian's site:

"I have began to read your post and had to reply to his one. My situation is the same but the opposite. I had the PA in my R. It would come from both sides. The thing that lead to the D was on my hand."

That's why I asked if you had an A.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 63
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I'm sorry by PA I meant physical abuse. I apologize I'm just a little all over the place regarding abbreviations.


Heartbroken5
Me:38|H:40
Together: 10 years
Married:5
BD: May 2013
No children
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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My apologies for misunderstanding.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 63
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Yesterday I received a text giving me a status update on his father's surgery. this whole situation has been bothering me because for 1, the text message was a ploy to get me to call him back. 2, i have not heard from anyone from his family since this separation/divorce. 3, i do feel bad that i feel this way because there is a concern - i considered these people my family. i don't know why i'm so bothered, my marriage is over and it really doesn't matter if i never see or talk to these people again. i need to let go and move on.


Heartbroken5
Me:38|H:40
Together: 10 years
Married:5
BD: May 2013
No children
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 63
H
Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 63
No problem, i should have studied the abbrev list smile


Heartbroken5
Me:38|H:40
Together: 10 years
Married:5
BD: May 2013
No children
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 63
H
Member
OP Offline
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H
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 63
I've been working on GAL. It's been tough but pressing through. The bad days are truly bad. I've realized that yes I've been depressed, but I have also began to go to counseling. It's strange because I really want the counseling to work, but it hurts even worse. However, things have been sort of strange lately. I met with a friend of ours, who shared a lot with me about what's been going on and what not. Not sure of what his motive was/is, but he's been saying things like, go and get your husband back. I've been apprehensive about this because of the things that I have read and the actual process. I don't want to go on my hands and knees and get rejected. I don't think I would be able to survive that. A few days after meeting with the friend, the H sent a text to meet. We ended up meeting and i didn't cry not once. I held it all together. It was awkward in the beginning, he talked about things that I really wanted to respond to (it's been hard, can't watch tv, he thought he would break down when he saw me, etc.)... I didn't respond. Then after the ice broke, we got comfortable and began to chat/small talk. We even laughed together. He told me things like I was beautiful and smart, that he misses me.. I responded in a similar fashion. Over all there was a lot of flirting. When it was time to walk to the car and gather my things. He actually hugged me, tight and it was the best feeling ever. He mentioned that we should do it again...and he would call me the following week. He didn't. However we have been flirting via text. I want to see him again so bad, for another hug, or maybe a kiss, or even more. I feel like this is wrong. I'm at a loss, not sure what to do. I'm supposed to not believe anything he says. Any advice out there? I'm lonely and I would love to just be held by him again.


Heartbroken5
Me:38|H:40
Together: 10 years
Married:5
BD: May 2013
No children
Joined: Dec 2012
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I think these are positive signs that your GAL and detachment are working! I know it is hard, but donít stop doing it. Continue GAL and keep minimum contact. Wait for him to reach out to you again.

Iím sure that long time members on this board will have more to say.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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^^ good advice from BrightF. Don't start pursuing as you might find he will distance himself from you.

Keep us posted I have real hope for you


M - 37 W - 35
T - 11 M - 5.5
SD13 D10 S4
ILYBINILWY 15 Oct '12
Moved out 7 Dec 12
At present - Being the best dad i can be.
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