Haha I've listened to Dave Ramsey when he first started years ago. He's a local boy for me. We started doing well on his plan until the last couple of years when my W started pinging away about getting a new house (oue old house was down to 50k now i'm in the hundreds). I think she put her value into this house and pool and... stuff. I lost my focus trying to please her and need my mojo back.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
labug, your right I do not want to make any rash decisions, I am seeking the counsel of people I trust and taking my childrens views into account. I am however trying to give my gut hope of a future with or without my wife.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
You will be gone with or with out your W. what GAL activities have you been doing ?
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
I lost my focus trying to please her and need my mojo back.
Don't worry you will get your mojo back. I think as long as we don't get bogged down in the depression/anxiety/anger/resentment phase, we will all get our mojo back. Just remember this is a long journey.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
You will be gone with or with out your W. what GAL activities have you been doing ?
Well, this weekend I am going to a dinner and game night with a group of people that I do not know. It's a meetup group. Cornish Game Hens and Pictionary is on the table for Saturday night. Sounds like fun!!!
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I lost my focus trying to please her and need my mojo back.
Don't worry you will get your mojo back. I think as long as we don't get bogged down in the depression/anxiety/anger/resentment phase, we will all get our mojo back. Just remember this is a long journey.
Yes thats the tough part, healing and letting go of the anger. DB techniques sure go a long way in the healing process. Just like happiness and love is a decision so is forgiveness. I will forgive my W eventually. Right not the emotions are just to raw. I am naturally a forgiving person, my W will hold a grudge forever. I will let go of all these negative emotions whenever my mind releases it (if that makes sense)
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
It makes complete sense. It happened to me a little over a month ago. I wasn't even really thinking about forgiveness, it just sort of happened. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I am a naturally forgiving person as well, although never on this scale. For me that day was the first step in really moving past everything that had happened. I hope it comes to you soon.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
not much to talk about today. Minimal contact with my W for the last 2 weeks. She did text me last night saying that our old realtor may have found a buyer for our house and was asking if we still want to sell it. (note: this spring we tried to sell it and move down in house to start our own business: guess this was my dream not hers). I waited til this morning to answer her as I wanted to think about my answer. My response: I don't know if I want to sell or not. "(insert daughters name lol) needs some sort of stability right now. I need to figure out what I want and I am not going to make a rash decision."
So was that an aggressive or controlling type of answer??? My mind is trying real hard to do 180's and I think I am over analyzing everything I do now.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
You probably are. It's a part of the process. (over analyzing)These are deeply ingrained behaviors we are trying to change.
It's work!
I think your response was fine. You didn't tell her how she should feel or what she should do. You stated your facts. That's not the kind of decision you make in a snap.
I think it's better not to make major decision in the midst of a crisis because you're usually acting on emotion.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
