No IC yet but it looks like I am not strong enough to so this on my own. You know I don't think actually I am pretty sure I don't want him back but why is he so happy with her? Why are they so perfect and different from all the others? That's what kills me. He is her knight and shining amour after less than 4 months together less than 1 living together. All he does is praise her. Ugh huh
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
No IC yet but it looks like I am not strong enough to so this on my own. You know I don't think actually I am pretty sure I don't want him back but why is he so happy with her? Why are they so perfect and different from all the others? That's what kills me. He is her knight and shining amour after less than 4 months together less than 1 living together. All he does is praise her. Ugh huh
It's puppy love. They're in the phase of the R where the other can do no wrong:
"He snores and it's sooooo cute!! Oh and I just love the way he slurps his soup! And look at how he leaves his clothes all over the floor, it's just darling, he's like a kid! I just love picking up after him, makes me feel important!"
A few months of living together and it'll be:
"How in the world does he expect me to sleep when he snores ALL THE TIME??? I'm tired of sleeping on the couch!! And I don't even serve soup anymore, you should see how disgusting he is when he slurps it, it's like some bridge troll that hasn't eaten for 6 months. And don't get me started on his clothes, he leaves them EVERYWHERE! I'm sick and tired of it, I swear hell would freeze over if he picked up one sock off the floor. He's a SLOB!!!"
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Yeah I know it can't be all rainbows and unicorns but they sure make it seem like it. We are the perfect match. We talk about everything. She quit drinking and smoking and I am going to also. We communicate so well. Never fight. We have nothing to fight about. Blah blah blah.
You know we go through the sickness and poorer with them. The op get the better the health and richer.
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Nah. It's okay. The new will wear off. Besides you don't know her history. She could be rebounding as well. Better to not engage but when you do see him make sure you look great!! All the time. I used to not be a morning person. Now I am up, dressed, make up and hair by 7 even if not going anywhere because you just never know!
Get on here and vent. It will help. Don't let them occupy too much of your time and thoughts and certainly don't listen to that crap when he says it. For that matter- No more R talks at all!
I try so hard not to think he now has this perfect life and the kids and I are struggling. He just says things like Lisa you don't understand it's so easy to talk with her and we share our dreams and she is so laid back and fun. She is an it is what it is kinda girl. Then he starts with the you are always stressed and need things planned and we never go out partying. Well H we have 6 kids and a home I have to run. She is 25 and getting a divorce and has two kids 5 and 3 which se puts in school and daycare . She drinks and smokes and I don't but he says she all of a sudden quit drinking except with meals. She left her husband for mine and they moved right in . My kids tell me when they are around her that she hangs on dad and giggles and laughs. Yeah I am a little jealous I can't want this man back he has left is for so many women and I always let him come back. This time he says he has found the one and is gone for good.
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Lisa- the best revenge is living well. Remember that. You are focused on them because you are unhappy right now and feel stuck with all the work, heartache, and responsibilities.
Don't ask kids what they do. Don't talk to him about anything but the visitation. Everything else- nope. If you have business make a list of the things that need discussed and try to do it all at once. Do NOT listen when he talks about his R. He is doing this to make you jealous or hurt you. No other reason. So know this and don't bite.
Take care of you. GAL can start with kids activities. Try to fit some exercise or walks in with the kids. That will be nice for all of you. So many things you can do. You CAN do this. Once you put the focus back on you then your path will be clearer. Also, perhaps without an "audience" they will not be so outrageous and hurtful. Mundane is much better than drama. So let them settle in. Nothing like bo and morning breath and all of that to really give a dose of reality.
I just keep thinking that my H used to go on and on how he hated XW cooking, her family, and the sex was not good. Oh and she was naggy. So I am hoping leopards don't change their spots. Also, she was a cheater. Hopefully she never found DB!
Your H OW is obviously a cheater too. You can bet that may come into play. :-) combine that with a young girl who just got her freedom and likes to drink and party. Again, leopards aren't likely to change their spots. Hang in there.
Thanks for the response. I just wanted to clear something up. I don't ask the kids about their visits. They are older so they come home and talk to each other and of course I either overhear or am in the room. They don't mean anything by it they just make comments like " who giggles that much" and did you see how He followed dad around. That kind of stuff.
We don't really have talks about much concerning kids bc he starts in with well ow does it this way with her stbx and she doesn't ask him for extra money. I want to say yeah cause she has ur extra money. Unless I agree with him he refuses to discuss the kids. And if she is around he refuses to discuss anything.
I am trying to busy myself with things to keep my mind off of this. Why does this bother me so much when I don't want him back?
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
