I called him at work I will never forget what he said. " well that's good at least I won't need to leave work. When are they releasing you so you can get the others from school ".
That is positively evil. I really can't believe there are such cruel people in the world. It reminds me of a lady I worked with, she was the sweetest thing. When she was about to give birth to their 2nd child, her H drove her to the hospital and dropped her at the door, then went to play golf. He was still out playing when the baby was born. Your sitch is even more depressing than that though!
You could not tear me from my wife's side when our 3 children were born, I was there in the hospital by her side before, during and after. I snipped the umbilical cords on all 3. I watched as they appeared in this world for the first time. That was the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Unfortunately my W is looking for something more than a loyal husband and father. Some guy in shining armor on a white steed I guess, who knows.
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He did call this hospital to talk to me but the nurse intercepted and he told her I had caused an inconvience by him having to find people to get the others from school.
Oh my gosh, that just makes me angry. I am amazed that you are a LBS and not WAS. He really treated you like dirt. That's horrible!
That's just beyond horrible. You deserve so much better. No one deserves to be treated like that.
Honestly it must be pretty bad for your S to say those things. Most children would give anything to get their parents back together, back to living under the same roof. Listen to your children, They love him but know that they would rather not live with him full time. To me that speaks volumes.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
MKB- that's what I am doing exactly. I venting. I hope no one thinks I am posting for attention I am not. Maybe my story bit by bit coming out will help someone else. It helps me see how I wasn't loved by h I had such a hard time convincing myself of that. I wanted to be loved. I can be honest here and post what I have been holding back and not be judged and see that I deserve better that my kids go to.
Thanks to everyone.
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
You are fine. My story is equally as dramatic. I never really thought of it that way though. It was just my life. I learned to navigate it. Obviously not well or my M wouldn't have been so dysfunctional. It wasn't always. H didn't start really getting nutso until later. I guess that can be typical of that.
Yes, keep posting. No one is going to judge you. I myself have been posting a lot. I have been out of sorts the last couple of days.
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Trying to gain strength from reading my old posts. From 2006 on and I am seeing a pattern with my h. Same cruel words same nasty behavior same blaming. Wow
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Trying to gain strength from reading my old posts. From 2006 on and I am seeing a pattern with my h. Same cruel words same nasty behavior same blaming. Wow
Has he ever seen an IC about his issues? 6 years of that kind of behavior is unacceptable.
He has claimed he saw a therapist in the past. Every single time he returned home. He refused MC but we saw my Pastor for Christian counseling until he disliked what my Pastor had to say. I myself have been in couseling since I was 12 bc of several issues the main one being my main caretaker which was my grandmother died of lung cancer. I had a really rough time with it. I may start a new thread for me detailing my childhood and issues that have carried over into my adult life that I have truly tried to work on and learn from. There I can throw in some background on my h for those who haven't been around the bb when I posted way back when dinosaurs roamed and to refresh those who were here. Maybe my story will help someone.
I am not a blame everything on your childhood kind of person. We all have rough stories I am sure but it helps to get it out and also helps others realize that they aren't alone. My h or should I say stbx is one who blames everything on his childhood which while hurtful and rough he has control over how he heals now. He has broken down and admitted that he has a problem with sex, porn etc. but doesn't want to seek help. He says the right girl will fix him.
My sister is a forensic psychologist and has known him 15 plus years. She has seen his behaviors and blame shifting and more. She recently told me she would classify him as a narcissistic sociopath. Based both on his adult behaviors and his childhood experiences. She has explained to me that people with those issues lack empathy and the ability to truly love. All the info she sent me fits him to a tee.
I know this bb is for saving marriages and I wish I could save mine but not at the cost of losing myself or harming my children. I want to DB to save myself and also follow and learn from Michelle and others to prepare myself for my future spouse.
Newcomers. Marriages can be saved. DB works for you and can change your marriage. Mine failed bc my stbx it seems has mental issues he refuses to address. Keep trying everyone. Follow the steps and stand for your marriage. I think my stbx is the exception and not the rule.
I welcome any questions and want to offer help and support. So many helped me.
With love, Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Lisa we are in the same boat with the same goal. I wish you peace and please know there is nothing you can do to fix H and yes it hurts terribly. Especially, knowing that help is out there. It's like the old saying goes- You can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink. He will have to learn these lessons himself. In the meantime take care of you and your kids.
