Thanks Barb for explaining the process. It makes sense. It's been a hard few days just ask Gineenen who is my neighbor. My D wanted to know if I needed food. How cute is she. We text when we could cause phones were on and off. My electricity came on before hers. I offered to bring her home she said no she was fine. Today I don't feel lonely and empty. My friend had 3' of water in his home. We talked and he expressed hopelessness and no future plans. I know that feeling latetly and I don't like it. So I told him so. Time to get our nuts back huh?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I'm glad you posted that you are ok. You and Gineen should get together for a beer! You've both earned it. Times like these bring things back into focus - you realize that others have it worse than you (like your friend). Getting out there and helping can be really empowering.
Your daughter loves you. She has been forced to make decisions she shouldn't have to make (we all had to experience this with our kids). But she showed her true colours.
I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better. It comes and goes in waves you know. So don't worry when you feel bad - it will pass.
Hey papa, this is gonna hurt for a bit. Totally normal. If you didn't feel what you are feeling I would be worry about you. Take your time...feel every bit of it. Take stock of what YOU learned from this. Use these feelings as a reminder to keep focused on being the best man you can be.
Keep your thoughts positive!
Keep yourself focused!
Keep moving forward!
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It comes and goes in waves you know. So don't worry when you feel bad - it will pass.
The feeling of loss will indeed come in waves. Sometimes, it may be a song, a place, a restaurant, a certain meal. It will come but it will also pass....IF you want it to pass.
Find stuff to keep you busy...and I'm not talking about GALing. That will work but it may get old after a while. Have you spent anytime trying to figure out what dream you really want to achieve for youself. If you can, plan an vaca, plan some hobbies that you always wanted to do.
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I'll even helP you pick out some nudie posters.
If Gabbysmom23 doesn't find the "right" posters for you...I still have some 1970 velvet glow in the dark poster with the "parts" that glow in the dark....if you are interested. Just sayin....
Chin up Y....
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adelante
las dificultades de la vida son para hacernos mejor no amargo...
Via Mendoza!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hey Rick, sorry I am late. I was unplugged for a time.
It was hardest right after X moved out and then again right after she came back to pick up her stuff. It gets better with time and effort. Proceed at your own pace, but proceed. Everything that has been posted is right; just make it work for you, make it fit your future as you see it.
A beer sounds so nice. I am meeting friends at a little watering hole tomorrow night. Ya’ll are invited.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
hey rick, Good to see you again. Sorry about what you are going through, I remember those feelings vividly. I just got back from a long trip, missed most of the storm, but still had 3 days without power. Hope you are getting back on your feet down there, we still have sections up here with no power. We new jerseyans should all three get together for a beer, over life, the hurricane, election, etc, hang in there!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Mine also came out of left field and I sat on this computer staring at these boards for the entire summer of 2009. I didn't sleep, dropped to 89 pounds and barely functioned. One day at a time.
NOW, life is better than I ever imagined and it gets better every day. I have new friends who love me for me and I get to do all the things I wanted to do, but HE didn't, so I twisted myself into a pretzel to stay married.
Be angry, grieve, be sad...feel every emotion. If you don't feel, you can't heal. And, you will.....
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Thanks for all the kind words guys. Today makes 14 days since they moved. Haven't had any contact with exw. Text and called my D a few times and she says she is ok. Sometimes I feel lonely but getting used to living alone. Yeap going through lots of emotions but feeling stronger everyday. Somedays I miss her some days I hate her. Right now just focusing on my finances and looking for work. Not so worried about that any more. The fear about money got the best of me but needed to breath and chill. On the up side, my house is clean very clean. It's how I like it. Little by little I'm making it my home. But one huge difference. I'm no longer in a rush to accomplish or achieve. That's very new for me but feels good to say eff it. That is a big change and liking it very much.
My next step is to see my D. I need to schedule visiting time. I know she's a teeager and may not want to hang with me. And I have deal with the rejection which I'm not good at. But I have to ask her to visit regularly even if she doesn't accept. I really miss her.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
From what I gathered during your situation, you had a pretty good relationship with your D. Don't be afraid to reach out to her. I'm betting she would love to see you. With her being a teenager, though, just don't don't ask her if you can go somewhere and hang out together, LOL Maybe you could have a dinner night at your place with her?
I finally saw my D yesterday. I picked her up at her new home. Saw exw but I didn't say anything to her. She drove by me and parked her car. Pretty nice place. They have over an acre of land. Hope she learns how to mow. lol.The place is a block away from whhere she keeps her horse. D and I made dinner ate and I drove her home at 8. She didn't want to stay over due to school. Told her we have to do this at least every weekend she said it sounds fine. I didn't ask about her mom just asked about her and her life. D was shocked to see how clean her room was. Told me she misses it. Overall doing ok
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
