Thanks. Keeping it light and real.ok not so much but very light with a smile.
In the last week I have had two ER visits with kidney stones and a four flight of ovary cramping....is this normal? Or just bad timing? Geesh!
Need some help husbands birthday is this week. Don't know if I should bring out the big guns or keep it simple. Hmmmm.I really realize my short comings throughout this marriage. I told him I get where you are coming from. I understand now. We both are players in this shakespere play. A comic tragedy, romance, and suffering. Thanks for all of your prayers keep sending them my way.
I would keep the birthday well wishes very, very simple.
I'm very sorry to see you've had several visits to the ER. Stress plays a big role in our lives, especially during this time. Slow down, take a deep breath and pray.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Came home to a big, mine to him. But at least he hugged me. Did not bring up the relationship at all. He is very quiet. I feel like I interrupted his peace, now that I am back. Do I let him lead conversations? Sit there and be just as quiet? Or what?
I'm sorry you're here but it sounds like you are ready and willing to learn and grow from this. The best thing you can do is to do your best to NOT be around if all that's going to happen is sitting around and staring at each other. Now is the time to develop new hobbies, learn about geocaching, start an exercise routine, join a club etc. It sounds like your H is content to sit around and revel in his misery. He's welcome to do that. YOU need to be better than that. This is where the "focusing on yourself" comes in. All your questions are focused on what you need to do in relation to your H. And while I realize you still need to talk, you've already been given great advice. Keep it simple. Answer questions when asked, but answer vaguely. THEN go off and do your own thing. It seems counter-intuitive to NOT be around when you're hoping to fix a relationship. But you can't fix anything until H is ready. He will tell you when that is. Until then, do NOT discuss it and LIVE!
If you want some insight into the mind of an MLCer, feel free to go back on some of my threads. My H's journey is still ongoing but he's definitely out of the fog and has made a lot of statements that completely back up the advice you'll get on these boards. It's a hard road and there are no guarantees other than the fact that if you work on yourself, you'll end up a better person in the end.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Thanks so much for the great advice. I had been gone for two months on vacation/sep and I came home yesterday. As a side note, while I was out there I had two ER visits for kidney stones. And now I have been admitted to the hospital. Having the stone removed tomorrow. And if life just doesn't get better and better they found a mass. What I dont know. Find that tomorrow as well. ain't life grand? Keep me in your prayers.
i text him early on in the day..."busy"....he text back in a sales meeting....i did not respond back. He is under so much stress. He called three hours later and asked if i got my car tag done and i said no. Then asked where i was...told him i was in the hospital....silence....he asked what was going on.....told him.....he said he was shutting the computer down and would come over. He gets here we small talk about what is going on....and then tells me i am being selfish for not telling him sooner.....I said text you earlier to talk, and you were busy. He said he feels like the bad person and then says " regardless of what happens he still cares about me " .....well thanks a whole lot I am thinking. stayed awhile then went home to let the dog out. Came back, which I honestly told him he didn't have to. And I really meant it. But he showed up anyways. Stayed for about an hour and left. He just called to make sure I got my medicine and to let me know our dog left him a surprise. I laughed. Asked if he ate....and told him to go to bed......
I'm so sorry your going through all of this. I hope everything turns out well for you.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Well home from the hospital. I made dinner. Chatted a litlle and ate in silence a little. No expecting anything else. How long does this last again? LOL
