Accepting reality, moving on with my life

[breakdownbill]

Thanks for your thoughts & solidarity Tori & Grateful, so many of us are in the same boat & it's nice to hear the support sometimes.

I get what you are saying Cutter about having things written down & we have been writing things down together as we've been discussing things.

I need to try & tie up a couple of things before I go back to the solicitor to start the paperwork & I think if we have everything written down by then before it is presented & we are ok with it, we should be good to start the ball rolling with the D.

A lot of this stuff we are in agreement on & I'm going to try and keep the open and honest communication and dialogue going between my W and I about all of this.

I hear what you are saying about protecting myself & my children's interests and I'm glad you are looking out for me.

Right now I'm just focused on being there for the kids once we tell them & supporting them as best as we can through this.

Bill

[breakdownbill]

The thing that had scared me the most about all of this has been and gone.

We told the children yesterday about their mum and dad splitting up and how dad was going to live somewhere else.

It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I was proud of how my kids handled it all yesterday and moving forward today.

Their first reaction was natural, questioning why? and asking if they could do anything to stop or fix it. There was a lot of tears shed yesterday by all 4 of us.

We were both strong and reassured the children that we loved them very much and that they are our no1 priority and that they come first.

I had built up in my head that this was going to be worse than it was, but my children were great and they are now actually looking forward to having sleepovers with dad 3 times a week and having 2 bedrooms

We stayed together as a family yesterday and watched films and talked when the children wanted to talk.

I'm going to spend my 1st night out of the house on my own probably Monday or maybe sooner and then the children will stay with me the night after that. We are just trying to make this transition as smooth as possible for them whilst they are off school this week.

Everything is really amicable between my W and I, we are in agreement as to how finances and child arrangements are going to be made & we've started getting everything down in writing.

I know things could change between us, but right now we are on the same page and we are friends.

I think having those clear the air talks before we told the children was the best thing that could have happened. It couldn't have gone any better (if there is such a thing as better in situations like this).

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and now we can be open and supportive to the children through this.

I've realised lately what great friends I have and how I should spend more time with these guys GAL'g more. Next Saturday quite a few of us are going to a beer festival which I'm really looking forward to.

I feel really at peace with what is happening right now. It is more than just an acceptance of what is happening, it's an appreciation of the changes happening and how I am going to embrace them fully with the newly found self awareness I've gained on this road.

The kids have gone out on a pre-halloween trick or treat walk with W, so I'm going to use this time to get 7 miles in on the road.

Bill

[afa75]

Hey Bill, its been awhile since I've been on your thread.
I'm glad to hear that you remain strong for you and the kids, as well as you and W being able to be amicable towards one another.
I hope that all continues for you and your family.

Favor to ask of ya, either run an extra mile for me it have a pint for me at the beer fest?

Proud of ya man!

[breakdownbill]

Favor to ask of ya, either run an extra mile for me it have a pint for me at the beer fest? smile

I think it'll be the extra pint, I haven't been for a run for 12 days & I'll struggle with the 7 miles

Thanks Afa, I'm doing good considering.

Bill

[breakdownbill]

I'm aching today, think I'll need to go back out for a run tomorrow - get a short one in to loosen up.

Tomorrow is moving out day, kids are gonna spend their 1st night with me on Tuesday night.

I'm glad that they have taken the news so well

They said that they can't wait to have sleepovers with dad which is really nice to hear.

We've started to get everything written down about the financial and child arrangements.

Having a decent weekend, just cooking a nice roast dinner

Bill

[Arsene]

Glad to hear your talk with the kids went well mate! Cheers!

[chatterbug]

Roast. Nice. Will be over soon.

Got a race lined up next weekend.


Bill. A friendly word of advice. This week. Take 30 minutes out each day and just go do something new. Such as walk down a different street. Turn off the music. Tv. Everything. Take a break from the routine.

[Denver_2010]

That's a good idea for anyone. Love it.

[breakdownbill]

Thanks guys

CB - what's the race next week? a 10K? I think the next chance I get I'm gonna go to that fancy running shop for a decent pair of running shoes.

I've got flat feet (absolutely no arch there)and I think with the right kind of support for my feet my body will be able to take more miles. I've been feeling like stamina wise I could step it up on the last few runs, but my joints have been saying no way!!

I really want to do that half marathon next year, so I think it'll be a sound investment getting the best type of shoes for my feet.

I do need to start adding new things every day & that's good advice what you said there.

I woke up today feeling good, not worrying about anything just knowing what I'm doing and where I'm at.

It beats the s@*t out of that limbo land, talk about false advertising in the brochure

Bill

[chatterbug]

Its just a little trick for the mind and storing of information. Anything you really do this week that is routine or a song heard a few times will be associated with this week. So what you are doing is writing the memory patterns with no triggers.