Hi Brit! Making a list of things you'd like in a new partner is a great ideA. My c had me do the same when my M ended. It makes you think about your own goals & having someone with similar goals is great especially for things that involve travel. I actually gave my list a point system according to importance. Didn't rely on it too.carefully but referred to it when I was I terested in someone. Turns out Ex us a really poor match (he got a negative number) & a couple of guys I had. Offer dates with would not have been fun for me. Josh (my honey) had similar goals & values ( also very important) & the things we didn't have in common - we have learned to appreciate in one another. I did add to the list & make a few changes over time ( before I got the nerve up to actually try dating) but found it really helpful. Barb
STBXH stopped by today to visit. his news: they are moving to a house from the flat. (they just moved into that flat in May.) she's mad at him about who knows what. she has made poor choices in the past with men and is currently paying a massive loan she took our for an exBF. STBXH makes considerably less money than her. That made me laugh. (sorry inner bitch) Divorce should be final by Dec/Jan. Somehow that made me happy. I'm ready to be D and not Separated. he said she could notarize the papers for free. Hmmmm not too sure how I feel about her name on my D papers. But in the long run it's not like I'm framing it and putting it on the wall. He has a new dog that he named something I had always vetoed.
He looks so...bad actually. dirty, needs a haircut, crappy shoes I wouldn't have let him buy. I've gotten myself together post split both inside and out. He hasn't.
hey brit, sounds like GF has issues... i am surprised H is sharing so much that does not put him or her in a good light.. does he not realize it???
i agree that you are in a much, much better place than H..you are moving forward and he seems to have taken a big step backwards... love you dear brit!
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
He stopped by to say hello to my mother who is visiting from the states and he hadn't seen S since he'd gotten back from the states. He was also picking up some stuff that S had gotten him from the S.
We are friends in that we're friendly. The last time he "visited" it was just to talk about divorce proceedings. We don't hang out, but we do trade friendly texts every now and then. I think I explained this before.
I apologised to him about the whole silent treatment he got two weeks ago from his GF when he did me a favour. He then said yeah well she's got something else to be mad at me about and started talking about some financial stuff she's doing.
He has always put her in a bad light. I've mentioned this on my previous threads. I think it's his guilt. he's said before "oh I didn't want to go into her good qualities and hurt you" But on the good side he's said that they are a lot alike, and she's a lot like this girl he had a crush on pre-me....I was her total opposite. LOL He's always said I'm more fun and prettier than her. Rather than it getting my expectations up it sort of had the opposite affect. I began to see it as a sign of his integrity that he would talk badly to his STXW about his GF. That's not the sort of BF I'd want.
I should point out he wasn't looking to me advice it kind of came up in convo I guess. I offered no opinion or comment. I made one snarky joke about how I guess she's used to men with money problems. And he was laughing about how badly she'd been taken advantage of by the exBF (again not a good trait)
Rick...women are surprisingly easy be available, honest, and open. If they don't like you after that...then move on. Men are riddles!
Thinkin about you Brit. hope you are doin good. Stopped by and saw you haven't posted since i last did. lol.. anyway, men are not riddles. women really arent either. the hard part is putting yourself in the others shoes. Thinking like them. I dont know. I get along with both men and women by doing that. and following the golden rule.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
hope you are good! those feelings inside are scary things. i'm still doin battle with the feelings of rejection. also the self worth thing. most days are good, some arent so good.
its good you are pushing yourself. thats the only way to know what you can do. sometimes you have to get so close to breaking to find out that you are only bending. kinda like when you draw an arrow in a bow. you pull really hard, feeling like you cant do it. then it hits its let off and there is that calm..right before you let the arrow loose on its target. then it is all action. im tryin to get to the letoff point. where i can relaz for a bit. then im gonna be the arrow!
you dont sound crazy! lol or else i am too. next time you have cricle time let me know. i could go for some mumbo jumbo! lol
