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zig Offline OP
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thanks ss - and thank you for stopping by. yes the testing goes on - but now it's a slightly different one - I can just focus on myself smile

(((((( )))))))
zig


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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So sorry to hear Zig.
No matter how much you think you're prepared or ready for it if/when it comes it still feel like a kick in the gut. You will rise above as you have so gracefully this next step. Keep your head up, know it is not the end of the road, just a detour. I'll be thinking about you.


M:45/H43
T:21/M19
D:18
S:11
Bomb:8/10- I'm just not "happy"
H Moves in with mom: 8/10
H Files: 3/11
Now lives with? OW/GF no clue
Nothing finalized...
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Zig, your transformation here has just been so remarkable. I wish I had your depth and insight. I feel like we are blessed to have you blazing this trail ahead of us. Watching you move forward in life will surely give the rest of us some hope and guidance. Like we will be able to draft behind you on the path thereby making our paths a little easier to travel. You are such a light ...

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zig Offline OP
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thank you so much figure it out - such encouraging words and support - it means a lot to me

i hope that you are well also smile

zig


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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Posts: 1,855
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zig Offline OP
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aah unbidden - what lovely words you wrote to me smile

they really warm my heart.

but my light didn't come on it's own - i absorbed it from the beautiful people in my life - my family and friends and everyone here. maybe i'm just reflecting it out now smile

i do feel calm and peaceful tonight - but ng has a lot to do with soothing me and i love her for it (thanks ng ((((((( ))))))) )

so i feel very fortunate that even though it has come to what i had not wanted, maybe i can take another step and be open to other things that i may find i want more.

I really feel that i can move on and always be able to say - I did my best, I did more than my best, I did more than I ever thought I was capable of

and that should be enough to start filling my own cup smile

so to all those who are reading this -

start filling your own cup before you try to fill someone else's

(i read that yesterday, and it is an image i wish to keep in my mind and pursue always)

i hope you are well unbidden and things are going well for you

((((( )))))
zig


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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jks Offline
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Originally Posted By: zig


I read yesterday - that one can reframe rejection and see it not as someone rejecting us and who we are, but rathe that it's the universe's protection for us so that we can be available for what we truly need in our lives

Isn't that a lovely way f looking at what we are faced with now?



Wow, that is amazing and does make perfect sense. Now we just need to open ourselves up to what it is that we really need. And have the patience to allow it to come in its due time. Thanks for posting that, zig!

Hope you had a great night. smile


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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Posts: 1,356
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NLW Offline
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Dear Zig,
Just read your words to me:

"I read yesterday - that one can reframe rejection and see it not as someone rejecting us and who we are, but rather that it's the universe's protection for us"

Given what I've learned about my h today (see my post if you have time), this is more than apt - it is a sanity-saving perspective for me.

Thank you, and keep on being your brilliant self!.

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((((((((((zig))))))))

I have no words to express how sorry I am that it has come to this. I am baffled to say the least... Simply baffled. You have been a rock for me, a guiding light, a source of inspiration, growth and reflection.

The universe is speaking...you are protected and being protected from any further pain and hurt. Let your new path be illuminated now in love and compassion.

Oh zig, I wish I could be with you now.

I love you dearly.


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 847
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Hi Zig,

I am sorry to hear the news. My H filed a couple of weeks ago. I know your pain. It's almost surreal. Even though we have been in limbo for a while, and even though we know this can happen, when they actually go ahead and file, it's painful. Plain and simple.

You are ok and you know you will be ok. You have the right attitude and this is just another step of this journey. An amazing journey filled with pain, growth and insight. But I think you will agree that this is happening for a reason and what we are learning from this experience is invaluable.

Take care of yourself. You are always helping others here, always so generous. You can see how many people you have touched just from all these posts.

You are not traveling on this journey alone...

(((zig)))


Me & H: 44
D7, D6, S3
Together: 20y, M: 17y
EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10
EA becomes PA: Spring 2011
H filed for D: 09/06/12
D Negotiating began 2/15
OW seemingly gone on 3/15
Still negotiating D






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zig Offline OP
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hi jks - thank you. i've become really bad at answering posts - so sorry.

maybe it's a good sign that i'm turning my focus away from DB'ing towards other things...

hope you are well, and I'm glad that you like that

zig


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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