Accepting reality, moving on with my life

[breakdownbill]

I'm thinking about what options are out there for me and I've booked a telephone consultation with a solicitor tomorrow to find out legally what my options mean for me financially and regarding custody.

One of the main reasons for not moving out myself is because it could be used against me as abandonment regarding custody.

I also need to protect myself financially.

I just need to be logical and get all of the information before I make a decision on what / how to do it.

A trial separation only serves my wife's purposes, I will no longer be a back up.

Bill

[chatterbug]

The other way she will come at you is that your controlling her...


that one is easy to counter as well. Plus you get a few truth darts to shoot in as well.


I am not controlling you. I am stating to you that I decided that I will only be in a marriage that is built out of love , trust , truth , respect and caring. Not an open marriage.

That is the only marriage I will be in. You are free to chose if that is the marriage you want to be in or not.

[breakdownbill]

That is the only marriage I will be in. You are free to chose if that is the marriage you want to be in or not.

Well said Chatter, I am quickly starting to realise that it is me who has agency on my choices not my W. If my W doesn't like my reactions to her life choices, that's too bad for her.

I have made it clear exactly how I feel about the current sitch and when my W stated that she wanted a trial separation, I simply stated that I would need to do what is right for me.

My immediate focus is on protecting my interests & ensuring I can get at least 50 /50 custody (primary placement). If it means staying in the house until all the legalities are taken care of I'm prepared for it.

I am going to see what a solicitor thinks about my situation & what my different options are tomorrow.

I can also get free legal advice & more IC from university while I am there, so it is up to me to make the steps to reach out and get help, get organised and prepared for the weeks and months ahead.

I have options and I have choices, doing nothing is accepting an open M IMO however it is rationalised.

[chatterbug]

sounds like your following parallel paths now. Be good on the timing.

[breakdownbill]

sounds like your following parallel paths now. Be good on the timing.

Timing is very important right now and I should get good legal advice regarding my own current financial and personal circumstances.

No rash decisions are going to be made here, only informed ones that have my kids interests at the centre of them.

[afa75]

You have a good plan. Good luck tomorrow and keep us posted.

[Arsene]

Yes mate. In many ways I'm learning from watching you go. I'm still not sure I'm ready for what you are doing but I realise that there might come a time when it is also my only option.

Good luck to you Bill.

[breakdownbill]

Thanks Afa, Arsene

I called the solicitor today and after telling her what it was about, she insisted on seeing me in person next Wednesday. It's a free 1 hr consultation that will discuss my options and whether I qualify for legal aid or not if I decided to file.

I have also booked an appt for next Tuesday with the university's on site legal advisor and got an appointment for IC with the counsellor who got me back on my feet a few months ago.

All in all a productive morning, got so much work to do already it's silly at uni.

I'll keep you posted on how they go.

Bill

[chatterbug]

Yes mate. In many ways I'm learning from watching you go. I'm still not sure I'm ready for what you are doing but I realise that there might come a time when it is also my only option.

Good luck to you Bill.

That is a problem with most of you guys here. You always think in linear patterns.

And the linear pattern you focus on is that your more afraid of being alone vs standing up to your wayward wife.

[Arsene]

That's exactly what I expect from you CB. Keep 'em coming