I can't imagine why she would want to stay any longer but people surprise me every day.
LABug - LOL... as is frequently the case, you are right.
Hang in there, Rick!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
how's your daughter doing w/all this? Where will she go? and is she on the insurance too?
I hope your r with her gets closer. Keep communications open. Reassure her. Seriously, don't look for comfort FROM your d, give it to her.
You are the parent/adult and she needs to know you won't disappear from her life.
Sorry it went this way, but you ARE already seeing the light...good.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hi 25 my D seems ok. We chatted yesterday. I think W has told her not to tell me where they are moving to. I'm ok with that. My D had a key to our house and can always ask the bus driver to drop her off at home. My D will remain on my insurance and phone plan, so I will always reach her. My D was giving decision power as to where she wants to stay. Won't know untill they move. No one is talking to me about it even when I ask. Truthfully, I'm not sorry it went this way. I'm sorry that I didn't act maturely and did what my exw did, file for a divorce. Sounds nuts? But I was miserable also I just fought her to be something she was not willing or wanted to be. Live and learn.
@la I agree people surprise my all the time.
@kg gracias hope u are doing ok. I'm getting better everyday.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Why would your wife not want you to know where they are moving to? You guys have a D together. What if there is an emergency??
It's so immature of her.
Plus, it's not like you are not going to find out sooner or later anyways. (LOL) Que cosa...
un abrazo!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
I think W has told her not to tell me where they are moving to.
Mine actually did tell my children not to tell me where they were going to live. At the time my D was 9, so the fact that your D can contact you, I would not worry about it so much.
Right now, all you can do is focus on your R with your D. Call her often or send her a text just to let her know you are thinking about her. Don't overdue it though, and as hard as it may be try not to over compensate for the divorce.
Peace, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I think the address thing has to do with the Mid Life Crisis and "moving on" although that is no acceptable excuse. Many exes (including mine) did the same but when they have your child with them - no way that is acceptable.
Although, as Eric says - you can find out easily enough. Just some of the weirdness we have to deal with.
I moved away long after my ex moved out. He had never given me an address or an email when he left. I do get an occasional text these days. But he was abusive so I did not give him MY address. I do have his adult disabled son living with me. But I communicate with him and have always made my son available to him for visitation. I just want it in a public place. I think I have good reason for this. When he drinks - there is no telling what he would do. I choose to live in peace.
Hi 25 my D seems ok. We chatted yesterday. I think W has told her not to tell me where they are moving to. I'm ok with that. My D had a key to our house and can always ask the bus driver to drop her off at home. My D will remain on my insurance and phone plan, so I will always reach her. My D was giving decision power as to where she wants to stay. Won't know untill they move.
have you asked her where? Have you told your d that she can be dropped off there if she wants?
Have you assured her that she is welcome, always?
Have you discussed what life might be like with you? In other words, does she know what you offer?
The more details you provide her, the easier it is for her to envision it... (such as how her room might stay the same, or her friends, that you can drive her to school, or whatever...
My concern is that your communication sounds familiar, meaning you still don't speak up or say what's on your mind b/c you are conflict avoidant, which leads you to resentment and then eventually an explosion.
Just a concern. If there's no validity, then ignore my statement.
No one is talking to me about it even when I ask.
Then speak up for yourself and GIVE information, esp to your d. Remember, you are the parent and SHE is the one needing comfort and reassurance from you...make sense?
Truthfully, I'm not sorry it went this way. I'm sorry that I didn't act maturely and did what my exw did, file for a divorce. Sounds nuts? Not sure what this^^ Means. I thought SHE filed..
Anyhow, how do you feel you are behaving differently now? If your d were asked, would she be able to say SHE SEES a difference in your behavior?
But I was miserable also I just fought her to be something she was not willing or wanted to be. Live and learn.
@la I agree people surprise my all the time.
@kg gracias hope u are doing ok. I'm getting better everyday.
I'm glad you are getting better everyday. Keep it up!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
We don't know her reason for not giving him the address.
My H does not know where i live, and this is because I wont be able to sleep at night knowing he can turn up here in anger (provoked or unprovoked) and start making a scene and breaking things (which he did when he got angry). Although, he never really tried to find out where we live.
So, please, don't be too quick to blame her. It may be a security thing with her too.
Just saying...
Me 33, H 34 T 15 (on and off, 7 years this stretch) M 4 DD 3 OW July 2010, IDLY - Oct 2010
1st sep 28/5/11-14/8/11 (my idea) OW confirmed 25/11/11 (H travelled with OW 26/11/11) I moved out 3/12/11
Good point Toni. I'm not one for making scenes hitting or breaking things. Think about this? If I was so dangerous why would she remain in the same house after almost 16 months? Her parents are only an hour away. She could always have me removed by police.
La u right she may not know if the deal on the house fell through.
25 I have told my d that this house will always be hers. It's a tradition in my family to leave our homes to our kids. She has a key to it and always will. We Spoke about it yesterday.
I'm different as I no longer interrogate her. She tells me I either agree or don't and leave at that.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
