Well I ended up playing wally ball with a girlfriend and her friends and came home at 10:30. Turns out H had been home since 7:30 which is early for him. I thought by the way he was getting dressed up that he would be home late cuz he might've had plans to see ow. Tues night he was sleeping right up tight to me and last night he was far away. I know he is texting ow cuz he grabbed his phone and went downstairs for a few min then I was walking into living room and he got up quickly and left.
I went to church and was thinking about what to do. I would still like to know what jack means by verifying trust. Anyone know? I believe for the sake of my son,at least for now, I will wait. My daughters could handle it if I asked him to go.
I'm going to really try and detach in earnest. I have not hugged him or made any overtures of affection for a couple days but I have been pleasant and we talk. H is being nice (happens when he feels guilty).
Struggling with anger and sadness today. In some ways this 2nd breach of trust with ow may be a deal breaker. H has no remorse, no morals right now but still listening to christian radio and goin to church! I'm good for awhile today then I get these feelings come over me. Very difficult.
I understand the christian thing.My ex is always posting on F/B like this if u love Jesus ....like this if Jesus is ur savior....etc etc etc .....but right now they are blinded by the enemy so what they read is being mangled in their head by the enemy so they can remain in darkness....satan is the father of lies and what better way than to than do it than with God's word.... One day God will deliver them from it and be set free.....but WE may not be around to witness that miracle. All we can do is keep praying for them and asking God to open their eyes.....and to be set free and that they may truly repent from all the lies they have believed..... I have been on this board for a long time I mostly read and pray for us all....when I first came here it was to see if there was something I could do to FIX my husband and my marriage,but detaching is key to surviving But it really does get better, time does heal all wounds and with God's help we survive and go on..... Take care.....Irma
thanks irma So sorry about your sitch. My husbands dad died a year ago last june and my mom died last march. My h was headed for MLC for years just didn't know it. Many fears about dying and I wasn't very sympathetic. Seeing the suffering our parents went through before their death made my h get worse I think.
I thought perhaps I should "offer it up" to God as we say as a way of atoning for my wrongdoings. Just got some books about the 5 love languages and about keeping your husband. Hope they will help. I know I have to detach. At the moment it's hard but I am pushing myself out there.
Detaching will be a lifesaver for you,this is the hardest thing I have ever gone thru. I started seeing my husband descend into MLC a few months before his mom's death, I just didn't know what to look for,since coming here all the signs were there. God has been there for me since day one and still is, having faith in something or someone you have never seen is a hard thing to do but he is real..... I have given it to God and he has given me peace, but one more thing that worked for me....that was forgiving him and her... It was a hard thing to do as well but not until I truly did I had no peace in my heart.... It was hard forgiving her but who knows what lies he told her,it's not all her fault it does take two to tango..... Hope this helps, seek God's will for your life and hand it over to him...as they say on this board ...LET GO AND LET GOD Blessing s to you
Thanks Irma I appreciate your post. And I do pray every day. Yes, this is so very hard. H's behavior is so nightmarish to me. Never thought I'd go through this with him. Terrible. God bless you too.
I was hurting so bad this weekend. Fri night asked my H if he was seeing or texting ow. Said"no, how many times do I have to tell you?" Found out today that he is in contact with her. H doesn't know I know. I want him out. Problem is my son 18, doing crappy in school and I don't know sometimes I think it would cause him a problem if his dad was out and sometimes I think things would be okay.
We have a big wedding to go to in oct. H and I close friends daughter. Don't want us to be the big topic of discussion at the wedding if I kick him out. We had a talk yesterday night about our relationship. H says he's trying (not if he's talkin to ow). He keeps talking about how we fought in the past. I apologized for my part again and he says i don't need to apologize. I told him he never really apologized to me ,no answer, crickets. I told him about the stuff he did and he got mad and said that's all he ever heard about what he did. He acknowledged that he hurt me. No apology.
I told him we were doing good for a month after he said he wanted to try and then he stopped. He denys that. But thats when I think he started seeing ow again. What the hell should I do? Keep hanging on? I know I am told to detach. He still sleeps in our bed! I don't get it.
One question - does your son know about the affair?
If he already knows about it, he might actually do better if H is out of the house. The anger the kids can have towards the straying spouse is corrosive, I know.
If, on the other hand, he has no idea your H cheated, and he has a good relationship with his dad - I can understand why you'd want to try to get through this year.
