Yeah I am hoping she has a wake up, I keep thinking about her weekend "away to think" and trying to get a grip around it. I would love to borrow some of your libido and transfer it to the W for the weekend.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Take the time she's giving you, give her as much as she needs - that's all you need to remember. It could take lots of it - hopefully less than it took me!
AND as long as she's still in the house, still wearing her rings, still willing to see MC - you are on the right track. A week or weekend away is nothing!
Lots of talk about time these days...My H said tonight that maybe he just needs some time to "miss me"...and so that's what he'll get. I'm away tomorrow, so that'll be easy, Sunday not as easy - but I can do it, if he can!
I agree Mandy. Let's try and keep each other in line.. Lol. No contacting the H this weekend! And I will do my absolute best to just be me and not backslide.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
I just about jump with every new email that comes in, hoping it's him. It hasn't been yet though...been about 7 hours since the last one, and he hasn't replied to my reply.
I think it will be an early night to bed for me - easier to sleep this nervousness off, I hope!
Space is REALY hard. Tonight I worked my butt off because I told her long before this sitch that I would help her with this event and tonight the dogs got a better good night than I did... Hard to detach, you and I have too though.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
well, I was just officially part of "booty call" with/from my H.
So maybe he does miss me after all, just not in all they ways I hope he might...someday...
It'd be easier to say "no" if it wasn't so much freakin' FUN! And it FEELS so good...
Saw someone else post about not being a 'doormat'...I am willing participant and I get as much out of it as he does, so that's my reasoning for thinking it doesn't make me *one*. Or is that just me rationalizing it to suit my sitch?
Also, read in the book to try "things" for two weeks to see if they have positive results. It'll be a week Monday of the "pause" with OW, which led to our now *regular contact*. I'm not sure if another week of this will make things better or worse. But having fun in the meantime...
And he saw OW today - a fact that I completely ignored. Couldn't ask him how it went...trying to ignore that she exists when we are together. Smart or not??? Any advice??
If you want to have relations with your H, I say go for it. However, If it makes you feel like a "booty call"...well then thats not doing much for the self respect eh?
Some might say that it could bring you closer. That positive interaction is a good thing.
Some might say that he could be living a little fantasy. Enjoying the variety. And that there is something to be said for wanting what one can't have.
Again, as long as you are enjoying it, and you don't feel bad afterward, no harm done. That's my 2 cents anyway.
A couple questions I was hoping you would answer from the WAW perspective.
What kept you from filing for D? When you were "done" and you left, did you consider yourself D already? That the rest was just paper work and H could initiate that if he wanted, but you didn't want to bother with it?
What kept you from being intimate with another? Did you feel free to do so?
It's just the time of day that made it feel like a "booty call" - had it been an noon instead of midnight, the same descriptor may not have applied.
It is enjoyable and I don't feel bad. It's been a week of "freedom", no "I feel guilty" emails the next morning" - progress??
And he actually spoke about moving with me when I move at the end of the month...taking that with the old adage "believe none of what they say..." - but nice to hear him even consider the idea.
I've been asked about the lack of D from friends and family - I just wasn't at that point. Also, it does take a year to apply for one - but it was never something I wanted or asked for.
I didn't even change my name back yet either. Which many consider strange as there are no children involved. I finally changed my name on Facebook, but only after H went public with new R.
It was the finality of D, along with everything that has finality (ie: changing wills, beneficiaries, health plans), that kept me thinking that all I needed was a break. I didn't WANT to deal with those things - it made it feel too "real".
When he starting dating, I was preparing myself for the day that H might ask for D. It seemed to me that he might want to marry OW one day.
As for lack of intimacy with OM while separated - had a few offers - just wasn't interested. Which, to me, confirmed that the intimacy problems in our M were with me not us. I didn't feel like s_x until after I had a week of NOTHING and some 50 Shades. But the books just made me miss my H not wanting to go looking for some quick fix.
