Let me rephrase that... I hope my wife feels what you felt when you started to lose him, I just hope it does not get as far as your sitch gets. My heart goes out to you.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
I decided to send H an email this morning & tell him that I was NOT changing my mind OR letting him go, and that I would be HERE if he needed me, but I felt like he needed to take a few days break.
He emailed me back & we 'talked' all day. Ultimately, he decided I was right - he does really need some time away from the whole sitch. And maybe I could use downtime too. It's hard on the heart...
Next time you talk to him, try to avoid saying things like "letting him go". No one wants to be "owned" by someone.
And this part..."I felt like he needed to take a few days break. "
You don't control the situation, but it shows you're trying to. Time and time again you do this. If he is to come back to you, he has to do in under HIS terms. NOT yours.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Not sure how I missed your post before today. Guess I just needed to read it today...
The last few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride. But not one I would've skipped for the world and one I will stay on until I get told to get off.
Hang in there! I'm not saying all WASs will change their minds, but give them the time and chance to see what they are missing!
No problem Mandy! I'm still on moderated posts, so when I post to a thread it usually takes a few days before it gets approved and then it magically appears a few pages back if a thread is active. So you didn't miss it, it just wasn't there until it got approved. Good luck in your sitch, I hope it works out in your favor!!
With my promotion/transfer, I will be moving, as I mentioned, to the same city as OW. With that, our home will be *very likely* bought by my employer.
So my H has to move out of our house. And he doesn't want to buy because of the state of flux in his life right now, and it's too soon to move in with me or OW - so he went looking at apartments. There aren't many "nice" ones around and he happens to likes mine, so he'll be moving into my apartment once I move out & the house sale is completed...So he came over to measure the apartment for his stuff, or at least that's how it started...
Part of the freedom of his "pause" with OW means we can fool around. And that's how most of our conversations either start or end. And now that I'm no longer feeling like OW, it's been so much FUN! Hard to believe that I missed out on all this fun for the last couple of years...
No hopes, no expectations - just enjoying the moments.
Also, last night was the first time that we met in person and I didn't end up in tears. That's progress - I think!
He's still undecided and still feels messed up - and that's OK - I understand. There's a lot going on and with added pressure from moving. Today I kept up my end of the deal and only messaged about the house sale, as hard as it was not to ask about anything else...
