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Went out for coffee with S22 tonight. We had a great time and a wonderful conversation. It's so interesting to watch your kids become adults and find their way in the world.

I did have to stop myself from interjecting advice and remembered to listen and validate. Really listen.

This DB stuff really works!

I'm so proud to be his Mom.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Sounds like a fun evening, Bug! Glad you were able to listen and enjoy. And I would bet that a lot of the thing that make you proud of him are becuase he's always had a great mom to help guide his way. Even though we learn a lot about ourselves in these situations its good to know we have always had good qualities about us as well! Have a great weekend!


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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labug Offline OP
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We talked a bit about what it was like for him when I was in the midst of my depression while taking care of my mother and after her death and then the separation. He's dealing with all that in a healthy way but he had some interesting insights.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Nov 2011
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Originally Posted By: labug
Went out for coffee with S22 tonight. We had a great time and a wonderful conversation. It's so interesting to watch your kids become adults and find their way in the world.

I did have to stop myself from interjecting advice and remembered to listen and validate. Really listen.

This DB stuff really works!

I'm so proud to be his Mom.



AWESOME!!!


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
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Wow, that's some heavy topics, Bug. And how awesome that you have a relationship with your S were you can have those conversations in a healthy way.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
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Labug, how rewarding that all your hard work of parenting has tangible results!

I would say you do a darn good job of parenting your own self too!


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
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Labug,

I have been gone for a few months and I am now back and trying to getting caught up with people's threads.

You have always been a source of inspiration to me (and to many others here, I can see). You are so wise and positive and I learn something from your posts every time.

You also have a way of being kind and compassionate yet truthful and firm when needed and you make me think and re-think my positions and challenge my thinking.

So I just wanted to say that I am glad to be back and reading about your amazing journey and the great life you have created for yourself.

Thank you.


Me & H: 44
D7, D6, S3
Together: 20y, M: 17y
EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10
EA becomes PA: Spring 2011
H filed for D: 09/06/12
D Negotiating began 2/15
OW seemingly gone on 3/15
Still negotiating D






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Originally Posted By: labug
Went out for coffee with S22 tonight. We had a great time and a wonderful conversation. It's so interesting to watch your kids become adults and find their way in the world.

I did have to stop myself from interjecting advice and remembered to listen and validate. Really listen.

This DB stuff really works!

I'm so proud to be his Mom.


I could have written this myself and love it! I find myself really enjoying my boys on a different level now. D18 is about to start college and D15 will be D16 in a few weeks. They are not little boys anymore and they are handling the changes very well for the most part.

I really find myself enjoying their company both together and separately.

And when I go out to spend time with friends, they are so encouraging and genuinely happy for me.

I know that your boys feel the same, labug!!


-Autumn

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labug Offline OP
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Hey, it's been a while!

Just posted to ces about resentment and it made me think of ...me.

I'm wrapping up a week-long vacation in Chicago (love this city) with my 2 sons. We've had tons of fun, eaten great food and walked out legs off.

But I have also learned. I've always heard the we learn from our children, I've now realized that I have to be still enough to hear it.

And willing to look at the ugly parts of me that I like to hide.

Some resentments came up for me during this trip and I had the opportunity to work on that and learn and grow.

Other people really can't read our minds nor should they have to try.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Originally Posted By: labug
I'm wrapping up a week-long vacation in Chicago (love this city) with my 2 sons.
I was wondering where those tall buidings were and you being afraid of heights!

Originally Posted By: labug
But I have also learned. I've always heard the we learn from our children, I've now realized that I have to be still enough to hear it.

And willing to look at the ugly parts of me that I like to hide.

Some resentments came up for me during this trip and I had the opportunity to work on that and learn and grow.

Other people really can't read our minds nor should they have to try.
Good Job. smile smile smile

Finding all the hidden things is really hard work.


Me-70, D37,S36
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