Although snooping is frowned upon I see nothing wrong with confirming and being safe.
Your wife is still firmly entrenched in REPLAY and ESCAPE and AVOID. She has cycled round and round, gone done lots of cheesless tunnels and still ended up right in the same place. I think it is best to not continue to enable that behavior.
Do what you must and let her twist in the wind.
It is not ever OVER until they pile mud on your BOX.
You have everyones support here and this has got to be tough.
Well after a decent weekend with some stressful conversations...One's that had to be had, it looks life my wife will be moving into a new apartment this week. Her application was approved and all she is waiting on is for the realtor to confirm her employment.
Things she noted over why she is leaving;
-Some is the OM -She wants peace and quiet...Not living in a house with kids full time -She does not feel the "want" to be with me intimately. She said the sex we have does do the job, but it is more for me and not for her. Based on her lack of feeling for me in that department she doesn't feel she can ever be true to the marriage.
The kids will stay in the house with me....and spend weekends with her. She is giving me child support which is good...The bad is the overall loss of income means a lot of things will need to end like eating out, chiropratic, etc. The only real splurge for me will end up being bowling....ironically with her, through the winter. We came to an understanding that I am fine bowling with her as long as her OM doesn't bother me. She said she will handle it.....so I am good with it.
The kids seem very fine with everything...
So in the end the transaction of her leaving should go well other than the loss of household income.
Good to hear from you. Although the circumstances seem challenging I think they are for the best for you.
At the point where I let go and moved forward I asked myself:
"Why would I want someone in my life who is unwilling or unable to give or commit to the relationship at least as much as I am willing to myself? Why would I accept less?"
There was more about me in the answer than about my W.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Very true....a basis for almost any relationship whether it is marriage or business. Those involved have to all be equally committed to the end. Why would some one settle for less?
Kinda leads back to the night I asked/told her to leave....The main driver was that I was not going to live like this anymore.
"Daddy, I know you love us and that you love mommy. You had to try for all of us and you did. This is not your fault and you did your best...Love you".
You did what you could, to the best of your ability. But you can honestly say it wasn't about you and that there was not one more thing you could do.
Healthy and well-adjusted kids and a clear conscience are worth a tremendous amount more than anything else as you'll notice in the coming years.
Peace brother man,
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
