That's nice, Brit. It's good to enjoy each other and have your S along to enjoy you both.
Sometimes I think there are aspects of our H's personalities that drive us crazy. But, if we look back to the beginning, I think we'll see that those were the things that we admired at the start; the things that balanced out our personality traits and we wished we could be more like.
The challenge is to keep the balance.
I'm so glad he asked you to go and you had a good time!
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
the things that balanced out our personality traits and we wished we could be more like.
and then those things drove us crazy because why can't they be more like us...that's very true SS and something to keep in mind for the future thank you!
where is my morning brit update? i need to tell you that every day, i get my coffee and seek out your update bc you are so positive that your words help me have a better perspective on my day. Even when you struggle, you are open and insightful and find some way to make me laugh as your words resonate and I realize something more about myself..
you are on my gratitude list today. thank you, brit.
hope you are having a great day!
ps i added to your gratitude list another goal for myself..to reach out to three people (friends/family/DBers) daily. phone calls, cards or even short emails/texts to say hi and follow up with them.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
So, I wasn't around because I had to go out of town for work and stayed over and came back today.
About midway through the day running from meeting to meeting, I took a few minutes to think (while washing my hands haha) and I thought the world, my world, is SO big. I felt confident, professional, in control, I don't know. It was good to remember that feeling because later relaxing with a drink I texted H something funny and how I'd had a really great day away and a not about the location. He never replied. I had expectations that he would reply. I wasn't expecting anything else. I was a bit surprised that he didn't.
I *almost* looked at his FB page to see of he was off somewhere with GF and that's why he didn't reply. And literally while the page was loading I shut it down and haven't looked! Yay me!
Looking at it, and not over analysing a text message that got no response....I will say that we had a really great time on Thursday night, and on Friday I texted him with a bit about my life. I think that was classic him getting closer and me overstepping. Granted its a lot lot better than it used to be but all the same it might scared the squirrel
So it was good to have had that feeling earlier in the day because later when I was upset about him not replying I thought hang on remember how you felt earlier? Remember where you are and why you're here! This trip is something that you have been looking forward to and it's exceeding your expectations. Why are you letting his response to you dictate your feelings.
So I'm still a bit mixed mentally I have a bit of a hold on it all but emotionally I do feel slightly down (but that could be a hangover)
I find myself being more jealous of him having a relationship that him not being with me. I want to be in a relationship, to have someone to share my day with, who looks at me with attraction in their eyes, who holds my hand, laughs with me, etc. I am missing that right now.
"I find myself being more jealous of him having a relationship that him not being with me. I want to be in a relationship, to have someone to share my day with, who looks at me with attraction in their eyes, who holds my hand, laughs with me, etc. I am missing that right now."
i feel the same way, brit. my H is not in a relationship (that i'm aware of) but i sometimes wonder if i really want HIM or just someone? would i want him back if i had an opportunity to be with someone new, someone who loved me for myself and didn't have all the history we have? i'm much wiser now but i don't know if my H could appreciate it...
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
A friend is having a party tonight and I know a lot of people on the guest list so I know there will be a lot of people I know there. I just realised that I haven't made plans to meet up with anyone before. I was planning to arrive alone because I knew I would know people. But in the past I'd never have done that. Even as recent as a few weeks ago I met up with a friend and didn't arrive alone to a work event. I can't believe how far I've grown in confidence, indepence, and my self esteem. I'm really proud of that!
I am having a very lazy Sunday morning..catching up on everyone's sitches, watching bad reality tv, perusing ebay, and berating myself for not cleaning the house and going for a run since it's not raining. I'll give myself 20 mins and then I'll do it!
I haven't heard from H since he dropped me and S off on Thursday after taking us to dinner. I did send him that text on Friday and haven't heard from him. *shrugs*
I was watching a bad reality show and this girl said for the first time she was stepping into a healthy relationship..thats what she wanted and that's what she deserved and she hadn't let herself have that her whole life. And I thought about all the times in my life I made concessions on partners. yes, like my sister said I improved on each BF and H was a good guy....but he still wasn't the partner I deserved...I made concessions on the proposal, the wedding, his lack of ambition (saying it was a good thing because in my job I may need to move around a lot), he wasn't "my type" and I said but that doesn't matter because he's dependable, romantic, sweet, funny, etc. And now I think actually I deserve a partner who is all those things AND doesn't half-ass weddings, proposals, his career, the lawn work, vacations, etc. Someone who is decisive and independent.
When he brought up the whole "easily led" thing the other day I had to bite my tongue. I couldn't say "I always worried that you wouldn't have moved out of your ex GF's house if you hadn't met me and didn't history just repeat itself...me forcing you to be independent?" Perhaps him making that statement means that he's recognizing it, growing, I don't know.
I don't think he's happy half assing this...just like I wasn't happy when I was overweight and insecure (a 180 from the girl he met and married) So I do think he can learn and grow and change.
But all this goes back to him....his choices...his decisions...his life.
I know the partner I want...and I might not be him. On Friday I just felt like the world is so so so so so big....
Hey Brit, how are you? A having a lazy one myself..the weather is gorgeous. I suppose that should motivate me to go take a walk later
You do deserve nothing half a$$ed. Your next R should be fully a$$ed. And I pray all of ours will be.
I hope you have a great day!
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
you are in a gorgeous part of the country I love Frankfurt and Heidelberg. Enjoy the weather, I find if I force myself out after a few minutes I'm enjoying myself. It helped earlier in my sitch when my thoughts were too much to just force myself to go for a walk. People at work commenting on weight loss said where do you walk? And I said oh, I just go! not saying its for SANITY!!! in fact, a celebrity here said in a magazine that she lost a lot of weight after divorce because she started eating healthy and going for long walks. In the hairdresser's everyone was saying she had gastric bypass but I was like I can see her taking 2 hour walks! you don't know what it's like until you go through it and then for her...it's in the papers i couldn't imagine!
I did my run today..all those short term goals I was talking about with Vera, Dakota, and KD are really helping me feel good about myself.
I heard from H today. Nothing big. I had posted on FB this morning about a new tv show I was enjoying and he commented telling me about something else the actor had done. I guess it's a step for awhile he never commented. Then again I'm not commenting on his..because I don't look at it!!!!
