Husband Filed for Divorce Today

[scaredsilly]

Great job. It's his responsibility to get himself up if it's important. Good that you didn't get involved.

[Jessica M.]

Thanks! I actually had the urge to call him from my parents house to remind him to get up. I am so used to doing things for him. I also feel bad for my daughter which is why I usually nag him to get up. He didn't get very much time to spend with her because he worked a lot and then slept most of the time he was home. She wanted to spend time with him and he wouldn't wake up until the last minute. He also generally falls right back asleep after I try to wake him up. It used to be so aggravating because he would ask me to wake him up at a certain time and he would fall back asleep.

Can't focus on the past though.

[scaredsilly]

At his age, he knows how to use an alarm clock. You're not his mother.

That puts one person's responsibility on two people and can cause tension, as you've found out.

[sweetbabyred]

Jessica, I still have the same issue.

H is not a morning person, so I always had to make sure that he actually got out of bed after the alarm went off. Even when he was out of town, I had to call him.

I've still done it recently, but I know I need to let him figure it out on his own or find someone else who is willing to wake him. Maybe then he'd realize how valuable I am!

[Jessica M.]

Scaredsilly, I know. Hopefully this helps me to learn. He's been late before and he's accidentally turned off the alarm clock. I would nag him in the morning to wake up when the alarm clock woke me up. He'd hit the snooze for like an hour and that is so annoying when it was keeping me awake. I didn't have any desire to be up at 4am.

Sweetbabyred I know. It's tough. My WAH was overworked and just plain exhausted. He had horrible problems sleeping. I just didn't want him to be late because at the time he was working towards a Team Manager promotion and couldn't have any points on his record. Well he lost out on that because he called a couple of weeks ago and apparently he was being considered. He had never had points in the four years he had been there and it was the one day I didn't push him to go to work anyways. I told him to do what he had to. Oh well. He's a big boy and needs to do that stuff for himself.

[Jessica M.]

I had my first day at work today and it was great. We're in training and doing the classroom work right now. My daughter was with her dad and he dropped her off to me before he left for work.

I am not used to getting up that early but at least it's easy work right now.

Didn't get to talk to WAH for that long just while we exchanged my daughter. It was pleasant and brief.

[Jessica M.]

Today was another good day. I was a little more tired at work even though I got more sleep yesterday. The only bad thing at work is that they have never been straight up and let us know how many hours will get. Well one girl asked and we may only be getting 2 days a week and they are on weekends and second shift most likely. Can't afford to raise my daughter on that! I'm thinking about maybe moving in with my parents and going to get my LPN. It's like a 12 month certificate and I could work at the nursing home and get experience during that time. I heard the course load is really heavy so it would probably be ideal to do it now and I wouldn't be able to work full time.

My WAH said he's proud of me and likes how confident I'm being. He likes this side of me. But he's still talking the same things and making jokes like maybe I'll marry some rich doctor after this. Sometimes I think there's hope and other times I feel like it's hopeless. I feel like it would be harder to get back together if I moved back in with my parents.

So confused still!

[LIO]

the LPN is wonderful goal for you to work on Jessica.

I read that your H feel stressed from being the sole provider? I can relate to your H. I am not asking you to mind read your H, but he is proud of you now because ?

Don't worry about the jokes. My H does that too. He does it when he is feeling a little insecure and wants to feel needed. My usual response to that would be something like (in a flirty tone): "Oh but he would never be like YOUUUU. Who needs all that money when you are gold?"

I've been thinking about your thought: 'it would be harder to get back together if you move in with your parents' as it pertained to my own situation. I don't think that is the case. You and your H have a connection with your D. You are still Jessica, no matter where you live.

And I didn't respond about the intimate part: I read that for some people it helped keep a 'connection'. For a man, I think they use it as a mental connection, and it would be a blow if he was rejected. So that's what I follow, personally.

[Jessica M.]

LIO thank you. I actually applied to go back to school and will see if I get accepted for the fall program. I may actually try for my RN. I don't think it will take that much longer.

I will probably not be moving in with my parents. I talked to them today about moving in with them because I would be working part time and going back to school and it's really not an option.

It really hit me emotionally when I was talking to my mom. She frustrated me because she turned it into something about her. She's been doing real good holding her tongue about my husband (because that's not what I need to hear right now) but she said a few things today. I just can't handle it.

I need to destress. The last day or two has been very stressful.

[Jessica M.]

Starting to realize how hard being a working parent and co-parenting with my husband will be. I took my car today (I had been taking the truck and my husband would meet me at work to switch vehicles and I would take my daughter home). Well today we were going to have a babysitter watch her so I took the car. I got a text later from my husband and realized I had the carseat so he had no way to get her to the babysitter. Oops! We figured it out but I'm starting to see how much planning is going to have to go into this. I am not used to all this especially on top of the stress and all the changes. We were talking at work about how bad the insurance is there and it's expensive. Luckily my husband will keep our daughter on his insurance. All the stuff I never thought I'd have to think about.