Hey Rick, sorry to hear you're getting so stressed out right now. No one wants to have to go through economic mediation, that's totally understandable how you feel that way.
I'm not sure if anyone else recommended this, but have you looked into thought-stopping techniques at all? You can try googling it, it might help you combat the spiral. Also, you can go back to two posts ago - there's a lot of good stuff about you in there that might help you pull yourself back up out of the spiral. Hang in there.
Rick, I would think that ups and downs are part of the process. That doesn't make it easier tho. You've lived in a very difficult situation for a long time.
Be good to your self and concentrate on the positives in your life.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Rick, You will be allright, these ups and downs are going to continue for a while. But reading what you have written about how life is not a grim as you once thought is very encouraging, you are at least seeing light at the end of the tunnel. You will feel better when the uncertainty is over, trust me!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
I know you are right Gunny. Going to court last week kind of forced me to accept this as the reality. The beginning of this week was rough not sure why. But in the last couple of days I began telling staff and others about my divorce. Some how if feels right. I guess keeping this a secret was bothering me. It is a huge relief to let it out and I think it is time. W has not shown any inclinations to want to R. I think for me telling others is kind of helping in the healing and in the moving forward. I have no reasons to be ashamed of this. And I am disclosing my sitch without blaming or demonizing her. I actually found myself defending her. I also got great news regarding a mortgage to either buy W out or get a new place. And have been offered consulting work that will help with making ends meat. So somethings are going well and others not so much. Life I guess.
Ps: JB sorry to say but it ended up being 14 miles round trip. When I mapquested on my Iphone I thought the numbers there were the miles but they were the minutes. i know u like those lol
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Ps: JB sorry to say but it ended up being 14 miles round trip. When I mapquested on my Iphone I thought the numbers there were the miles but they were the minutes. i know u like those lol
Rick at least you saying you were going to do 30 miles pushed me a little harder last night. I went on a group ride last night, and I had it in my head, "Gotta ride farther than Rick, gotta ride farther than Rick!" Since you provided the smilies, I'll let you off the hook. But you DID forget my two favorite friends:
JB u kick my arse so I wI'll keep trying. Lol Today I told the rest of my staff of my divorce. Many suspected something others were not aware. they were concerned about my health since I lost so much weight and was not overweight to begin with. And others were concerned that I was having mental health issues and or their jobs were on the line. Either way I feel free. I told them right or wrong I dunno. In addition I changed my FB status to single. All those things let me breath? Some may aprove others won't. What matters is that I approve and feel ok with my decisions. I know my D cancelled her FB page Nd exw doesn't have one.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Need to vent because my chest is pounding and my skin is sweating.
If you don't know how I got here this a brief synopsis. I came home on a Monday in June of last year. It must have been June 17 or 18th. My W tells me that she thinks D failed two classes. And that it was no biggie because she can make it up in the summer. I think her non shallont attitude made me very angry. I acted on it screamed yelled cursed. I know childish. Than in the same week she goes on a 3 day horse shows and takes my D. I end up being the big jerk because D manages to finish summer school and go on to the 9th grade. A few weeks later whe I told W that D should not go to a graduation party as a consequence. I find ut she let her go. That day I went nuclear I threshed her and told her to leave. She did and five days later filed for a D. There's mire to this but won't go into it.
Today I got her report card. She failed every class exept one where she got a D. She also missed about 2 months of school. Didn't know about it. I asked her to come out of her room and told her my findings. She said she knew and was sorry. Her mother left this morning at 5am to do a 3 day horse show. I assume she knows.
For the anger piece. Some here think that I'm a walking angry doosh. Not so I may have conveyEd that in my writings and at the beginning. What I know now is that my parents had a hands off I don't believe in education mentality. Didn't know how much I resented that till today. In fairness my parents weren't educated at all. Ghezz my brother and I are the only males in our family with high school. And I'm the only male with higher education. So I am struggling right now with my Ws actions. But I'm also sad to realize that I have not been involved in her school. One reason is that W did not want me involved. My mistake she's my kid too. It won't ha
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
i know u like those lol
But you DID forget my two favorite friends: 
