Good morning Miss Barb.Iv'e had a crazy crazy busy weekend but do come home to get away from peeps and check in with DB's and my business FB page...lol
Sounds like things are looking up.......glad to see Ryan healthier.....and U getting a "break".
Ashley sounds like a nice level headed young lady, That sees her father for what he is, I was raised by an alcoholic/depression riddled father ( a sweetheart of a man ) that was unavailable alot. Took me years to forgive him for some of his actions....and forgiveness did not come until about 8 years after his suicide. Alanon taught me that forgiveness was for myself not my dad....He was mentally ill.
Ill tell ya what a liberating feeling that was i just felt all the anger,guilt, pity, grief....leave me like a cloud I thinks its called a ' spiritual" awakening. IT took alot of work on my part to "Let GO and Let god..Im not an organized religion type of person but very spiritual I have a higher power whom I call god..and I know he is there If he had not been beside me i probably would not have made, on this earth. One of my favorite poems is " Footprints in the Sand. I have it on a jewelry box and a mounted plaque at my desk side.
Your kids will be fine..its their feelings and attitudes to sort out themselves Believe me they have been watching...A strong intelligent woman doing her best for her family and loved ones.
Thanks for your lovely, supportive post! Made me smile.
Chuck and I were high school sweethearts although he was 3 years older (definitely less mature). So at 15 - I chose the man I was going to marry. DUMB! His dad attempted suicide shortly after we met. He was the most annoying drunk I'd ever known. Never saw him sober (well, maybe twice) and he was angry all the time. I just could not stand being around him. Yet when ex was leaving me - he went on and on about how much he missed his dad. He knew his dad had done unforgivable things (yes, to me personally too) yet all of a sudden - he wanted the R that I had with my Dad and started crying about it all through our 25th anniversary dinner etc. Screwed up????
I love the poem "Footprints" and have brought it to mind many times when I needed to be reminded. Like you, I do not go to church but I am spiritual and a Christian. I commune with God and nature. I respect the religious views of others unless they "get in my face". The thing is - here where I just moved - there are 3 local churches but it seems that all the people I seem to know - go to the United church. And they LOVE it. And they have invited me and I have declined. However, I've actually considered checking it out since they seem to be such a nice group of people. I DO socialize with them at other community events too, though, since I joined the Lions.
Today is the 7th anniversary of my mother's passing. She died too young - cancer of the esophagus -I've been really missing her. Strangely, last week when it became inevitable that Ryan needed to go into hospital and I was crying - I cried to Josh that I missed my Mom and just needed her to bake me warm chocolate chip cookies. How weird was that? My Mom would be there at the hospital, reading books to Ryan - just as I have been. I was just looking outside and see my peonies in bloom. My Mom grew peonies. I will bring a couple indoors today in honour of her.
And on to the hospital shortly. I have the workers coming in from 1 to 5 so I can be there on my own in the morning and deal with the drs and the bureaucrats. Not expecting too much today but hope for some answers tomorrow.
It will hit near record highs today and sunny. I'm going out on my Seadoo. Swam yesterday and I hope to start reading a book. Maybe get a start on one of our Book Club reads for Fall - "The Woman Who Went To Bed for a year" (Something like that. I like that idea - LOL
good morning again.... I always love to make people smile... I do have a good sense of humor, its carried me a long ways One of my alanon friends said at a mtg. once " The laughter thru the tears " I took it to mean its OK to cry, but U can't take yourself so seriously that U forget the " good things about life " that has stuck with me probably for life.
I understand U missing your Mom....( mine is alive and kicking arse )...but on Mothers day weekend I had a real hard time, because of my dad that died at the age of 53....by his own hands.......His birthday is always real close to mothers day weekend..........It would have been his 83rd birthday So yes he died 30 years ago....and I was the only girl and the youngest...when I was real little I was def. a daddy's girl...We shared the old song "Yellow rose of Texas" lalalala every year I put one single yellow rose on his grave and usually bawl like a baby.....but it helps, My dad was real sentimental...he cried at movies like OLD yellar and the sound of music...I take after him...unlike my german mother whom i love very much, ive seen her cry twice in her life the death of her father and the death of mine......anyways...I do know where your coming from
Its hot too here in MI doing a rain dance as its getting really dark and cloudy at 10:45am hmmmm I hate storms all i want is rain
Making some progress at the hospital (I think). I now have the doctor on board (amazing). He supports my efforts to get Ryan some physio to work on standing/walking. Ryan would have no chance at this program unless he is in hospital. So now the push to get him out of the acute care bed has lessened and the push to get him into complex care/therapy is on.
I was assessed and interviewed to death this morning. Some very tough questions. Some things I didn't want to think about. But apparently I made the grade! I had the supervisor and doctor in tears (I have that ability at times). But I only made it to the "consideration" stage and Ryan (as usual) doesn't really fit the hold. However - I have more people on my team now.
Today my sister has taken the day off (Joyce) and she is coming to visit with Ryan (and me) and we will go out for a meal or 2. She is bringing some books for Ryan. It will be nice.
Tommorrow is my intense assessment for Ryan's continuing therapy care.
And dickhead sent another text "can I see Ryan in 2 or 3 weeks?" To which I replied - sure - "but message me then" DUH!
I picked the most gorgeous peonies from my garden yesterday as my Mom loved Peonies. These smell fabulous! They remind me of her. 7 years since she passed.
It's raining and not so hot. It was 33C yesterday (over 90) here - hotter than Toronto!!! It's a relief to see the rain and a bit cooler temps.
Spent a fabulous day with my sister yesterday. Yes, fabulous despite the fact we were at the hospital and I had yet another long, gruelling interview there. Sis kept Ryan amused. He has been amazingly happy - loves when we read to him and work on I Spy books.
Today is my most important assessment for his next step. I hope to get some answers about what will happen next. I know he has been approved to stay in our town rather than transfer to another location. He will either go into complex care for a few weeks, therapy for a few weeks or be discharged to home soon. I'm really in limbo but doing my best to jump through every hoop they put up. The fact that Ry is in such a great mood really helps - if he were depressed - I'm not sure I could keep him in hospital.
So please say a prayer for us today. That Ryan will get a chance at intense physic for his standing/walking and that we will get some answers soon to "what comes next".
Ryan ACED the assessment. I'm not sure how but God must have had a hand in it because Ry was very sleepy and I thought (no way). But he totally met the criteria. I was commended for the excellent condition of his muscle tone and his general wellbeing. The physio was amazing!
More in a bit, my daughter is freaking out at work.
My daughter, Ashley, got another part time job to supplement her full-time one. The second one is in her field. She asked her boss for an occasional Sunday off for the new job (she was upfront and honest) and he threatened to fire her. She was beside herself. But she went back and talked to him again and all seems ok now. I told her that she showed maturity in how she was handling it and reminded her to always be honest (as she was) but to do what is right for herself. One reason she needed the 2nd job is because her roommate just gave her notice and she needs the extra $. Hard lessons to learn at 23 but I think she is doing great.
Ok, Ry will be moved into the therapy centre by the end of the week and begin his best chance at recovering his mobility. Fingers crossed. (interesting note - Ryan has had his fingers crossed since he went into hospital - I think I know why!)
He will be there somewhere between 3 weeks and 3 months. Long time. I will, of course, miss him a lot here but will be there almost daily.
That said - the team knew I had a trip to Florida booked next week. I told them I was going to cancel it. They told me NO WAY. THey told me it is their job to ensure that I get adequate respite and that it is a MUST that I go. So I'm really happy. I'm visiting with friends, taking a course and going to the condo for a few days. SO happy!
And on the way home today a big bear ran out in front of my car (well, kind of beside my car). I came within inches of hitting it. SO scared. I was just shaking. On my road this week someone hit a moose and is in critical condition. Not so sure about the moose. Another friend hit a raccoon 2 weeks ago. Doesn't sound like much but there was $2400 damage to the car!
Tonight I am inducted into the executive of our Lions Club. It is a Pot Luck Dinner. I just made a huge Caesar Salad. Significant others (called Service Partners here - weird!) are invited. Josh is working in Toronto today and tomorrow so no way he can come. I hope I'm not the only one going stag.
It feels good to be a part of this community. It is small, but it has heart. Everyone seems to know about Ryan and has been rooting for him. Just going to Pot Luck makes me feel good. It is the kind of life I had been wanting. Not one person here makes me feel uncomfortable.
Oh and just to tell you...
Yesterday the hospital phoned my cel just as I was entering the Parking Lot. They tried to catch me before I left home (20 min away) as they did not have one of Ryan's meds. Couldn't get it. Our pharmacy phoned all over but they were the only ones who had it. I said I'd drive back to get it - but NO> My pharmacy in my little village sent it in a taxi!!! How awesome is that? Our pharmacist is one amazing guy. He is also in my Lions Club. Big thanks to him and his staff!
Anyway - must get dressed and ready to go. It's so quiet around here without Ryan and his harem. (workers). As much as it drives me crazy at times - I kind of miss the company. So it's good I've got people to hang out with tonight. And Josh is back tomorrow.
