Hi MrBond. We had MC. I liked the counselor, and he was very pro-marriage. Now, of course, we've gotten home, and my husband won't even speak to me.
I didn't try to encourage him to talk about it, but I could tell that he didn't want to interact, so I just picked up my computer and came into my bedroom.
I validated everything he said and said I agreed with everything he said. I did cry a little bit. But basically my husband said he was not interested in fixing any of our problems.
Well, the counselor asked me what brought us here. I said that we had some issues, and I explained what it was I believed were the issues, because that's what the MC asked.
Husband said that, yes, these were issues, but ultimately, he was just tired of everything that led up to this point. He resents me and doesn't feel interested in working anything out.
There is built-up resentment against my parents, because they did a lot of things that he wasn't happy with, and I never stood up for him. They're the only family I have, so that put me in a difficult place to begin with.
The MC asked what made husband love me in the first place. He named some stuff, although he struggled. The MC asked the question, if you were to go to sleep and a miracle happened, what would have to happen to make this relationship good again? He couldn't answer the question.
We talked about what problems we each felt we had. Husband said stuff, I agreed with everything. About how frustrating I've been. I said yes, yes, I have been so frustrating. I don't disagree. You are right. I've been so hard to talk to. I've made it difficult to work things out. I've pushed you away. Yes, yes, yes.
MC said, this is what all couples go through. I'm sorry to say you're not unique! Blah blah blah. Sophiedaphne, how do you feel? Yes, everything he said was correct. He asked how I felt about husband's family and I said the truth -- they have been very good for me. I told MC how husband was so selfless for so long and how that drew me to him. How generous he was.
Husband was not wearing his wedding ring.
Afterwards, the MC said, would you like to come back? Husband said we needed to discuss it.
We got home and I could tell he wasn't about to interact, so I came into the bedroom and he started cooking something. He knocked on the door a few minutes ago and asked if I wanted some of the felafels he's making, so I said sure.
It hit REALLY hard that he has already stopped wearing the wedding ring.
I could go on to tell you how every spouse says this. And to tell you the truth it's never "easy" for the WAS. He feels guilt and tried to get things to change with you before but you didn't listen. But you made your choice.
Good luck to you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
He won't even talk to me now. Not at all. We ate dinner together and watched a show. I tried to tell him how delicious it was! I thought that something was happening. I don't know.
Then the TV show ended and he just sat there. He said, really rudely, it is ok if I change the channel? I said, Sure!
He was clearly getting worked up, so I cleaned up the dishes and came back into the bedroom. Now I want to just cry. He went into the bathroom and washed up and turned off all of the lights.
