Wife of 7-Years is Divorcing Me, but Yet Not pt. 9

[MrBond]

I must say that you are one of the most forgiving men I've ever met.

You do know that she was saying that to just protect her own interest and make it sound like she's a saint. However her past actions rule against it. Go back and look at what she texted you. She doesn't mention anything about you and how it might hurt you, etc. She worded it in a way that made it sound like SHE was protecting HER SON against a molester. She's very crafty.

"knowing full well it could look awful for me."

WTF? I mean why would it look bad for her when she just accused her H of child molestation. Selfish.

Her goal now is to do anything to get what she wants. She is going to continue on this path until she gets what she wants. I'm sorry it's come down to this. Go no contact with her.

[25yearsmlc]

25, I'm quite certain that my wife truly believes she heard our son say those things, be they provoked or not. Anger, distrust and resentment can greatly cloud one's judgement, after all.

Alamo, I don't know if this matters, but for the record, I disagree. I think your wife is lying and or prompted the answers that are incredibly helpful to her at a very convenient time. I have seen it far too often. If she believes her own lies, then she's the one unfit to be a custodial parent.

In fact, she just sent me this email no more than an hour ago. Not sure why she reached out to me like this:


she is doing this^^^ for the court, NOT YOU. She thinks it bolsters her credibility to write down that she is not lying AND to sound as if she is only concerned about E and not angry at you.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED SHE WRITE TO YOU if I were her L....

but I call that another LIE.

you may not be docile, but you are way too trusting of someone who has launched an all out attack on you. This is war and YOU are ALAMO...


"Hi Alamo,

I hope you know, if you know nothing else about me, that I wouldn't lie about something like this. I mean, I don't lie in general. But above all else I wouldn't lie about something that would hurt our son. I did the only thing I could think to do to protect E, knowing full well it could look awful for me.

Wife"


REALLY? So How does it look "awful" FOR HER?

Who is she kidding? IT CAN LAND YOU IN JAIL - FOR DECADES...I HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN ALAMO...Stop minimizing her actions. Get your head out of the sand What else does she have to say? OH YEAH that you physically abused her...yeah that will come out again and again....

Regarding CPS and our son: I was glad to find out that our judge was well aware of the credibility of that (he's been in criminal law for 20-years too and a pretty smart cookie) and yesterday ordered an independent child psychologist to work with our son (poor little fella). So I hope and pray

well I won't beat a dead horse.

But I'd be doing a lot more than hoping and praying if it were me who was about to lose everything and be labelled a sex offender for life.

Will you enjoy registeriong as a sex offender? I hear It's super fun to find places to live & work...Oh and you won't see your son E again at all unsupervised---IF THAT---

I'd be fighting back with claims of parental alienation and slander/libel and "Intentional infiction of emotional harm", "Perjury" "Malicious prosecution" and whatever else your L can think of.

This is the lowest blow, the ultimate weapon and your wife IS launching it.

And you are hoping and praying that what?

That it goes away? Well, me too...but this smacks of more of your head in the sand stuff.

Sorry Alamo, maybe you're too stunned to see the forest for the trees...

the psychologist knows her stuff, because I'm aware of all the different methodologies of interview children and how they may affect outcome of the interviews.

We also both agreed that until the next big hearing on the 20th, I will be able to have supervised visits with our son with our preacher and/or his wife as chaperones.

Maybe I'm misreading this. But you almost sound graetful to your wife for this...wow, it's a carrot and stick and she sure has you where she wants you. I bet you're terrified she "won't LET" you see E again and she might hurt you some more or move away and that ends it all...b/c you still give her all the power.

In my behavior through this whole craziness, I may come across as docile to some of you, but I'm letting my lawyer fight my battles.

I hope your L is a warrior b/c you do sound docile, or at least passive and utterly terrifed of conflict w/your wife.

But this is not a normal divorce case now. Far from it...don't think CPS will just go away if they think there was ANYTHING off or at all improper about you.

And the porn history you refer to, so often, won't help. I wish you'd stop referring to the porn ADDICTION b/c it probably does not help you now...


I do my homework and let her run with it. Thankfully, she's both pro-marriage and has been my advocate since I had her from the beginning, while at the same time she's properly aggressive in court as well. In fact, I'd become so used to seeing her calm and mellow side in an office setting that after I saw her in action in court, I asked her if other counselors have a nickname for her, like tiger or viper or something.

^^ Good to hear. But this may be the perspective of a man who rarely sees women confronting issues or engaging in confrontation in a professional way.

I am amazed at how much some men, esp from other cultures, seem afraid of little old me, when I talk in court. I don't raise my voice or screetch and I veer off hyperbole.

But I do go in for the kill if it calls for it.

In My professional and personal opinion, your wife's behavior does call for it.

Enough said.

Is my marriage dead? Oh yes. I acknowledge that quite a long time ago. But, even though I expected her to thrown everything under the sun at me, those below-the-belt punches do sting. But I have strength, peace and patience from my Lord, and that works for me!

Good luck Alamo, truly I wish you well.

[unbidden]

I agree with Bond and 25. You really don't sound like you've come to grips with how awful this is getting and how much danger you and your son are really in. Seriously, draw a line in the sand, say "No more," draw your sword, and fight back. Accuse her of making false and frivolous allegations etc. You will not get a second chance at this. Neither will your son. It is time to fight back now.

[scaredsilly]

I agree with the comments above. But she is not only hurting you. She is damaging your son and his bond with his father. To me, that's pretty despicable. She's hurting YOUR SON to get her way.

[JustStunned]

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED SHE WRITE TO YOU if I were her L....

Exactly! While we dislike to speculate about anything related to the WAS, here prudence demands we assume she is being coached in preparation for the battle to come. I generally take a “let’s give peace a chance approach”. This is not one of those times.

Unfortunately this is a battle you need to not only win, but one you need to win decisively. It is time to go all in. The opposition must be decimated.

[alamo76]

UPDATE
We are in the final days of preparation. I feel that my lawyer, her team, me and my witnesses have everything together. Hopefully the hearing doesn't get delayed to a later date (my witnesses have other obligations and I don't exactly want to subpoena them).

More importantly, our son will be meeting the court-ordered child psychologist for his interview tomorrow. Please pray about that with me.

I appreciate the 4x4s (because they, among other things, are a constant reminder of this reality, not the one filled with fear, worry, doubt and loss), but know that I bite and snap when I need to.

Pray for our son -- that God will protect us all from evil, slander and revenge.

[unbidden]

God bless you, your son, and your sitch. May god bless you, smile upon you, and grant you peace.

[jbnati]

Alamo, I don't know if I've ever posted to you before, though I've been around almost as long as you. I have followed your sitch off and on. I think you were getting some excellent 4x4s from the others.

That being said, I wanted you to know I am praying for you and your S.

[alamo76]

Oops, I actually meant 2x4s, not 4x4s. Two very different things!

Thank you unbidden. It's down to the wire now.

jbnati, I think you've chimed in before on one of my threads. Thanks also for your prayers.

UPDATE
Even if it was just for 4 hours, it was super awesome to see and be with our son. I hope he missed me too (well, I know he does); he kept asking if he could come back to our/my house. I had to explain that I'd really love that, but mom was waiting for him.

My poor little man. I hope we get to see each other (tentatively) on Tuesday before the big hearing on Wednesday.

[jon2911]

Alamo,
You're getting some great advice on here, and you sound good. What a blessing to have 25 with all that experience. At least be running this by your lawyer. Wisdom in a host of counselors. Praying for you here.