Brit- delete him from your Facebook. You are going to drive yourself nuts. Luckily after I confronted my H about the texts to OW he deleted his Facebook and I got off our phone plan. I don't think I could have detached if I was constantly seeing stuff and wondering about it on his FB.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
When I broke up with my college bf (back in the instant messenger days) we stayed in touch and I would obsess over the meanings behind his away messages. We were on and off for 3 years after breaking up. I'm surprised my friends still talk to me after all the drama!! Then I met H and it was like "oh that's why we didn't work out, God had this up (her) sleeve". I keep thinking that with my current situation. It's paving the way for something better, a relationship with hopefully more romance, more compliments, less anger, less resentment (and hey, more money wouldn't be bad either!)
Years ago I quoted that Garth Brooks song to my mom "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". I wanted to rip her head off when she said it to me the day I found out about OW.... But, moms are always right
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
you are the "main" character! and what a character you are. your introspection is amazing. the feedback you give me rocks. i feel blessed having "met" you.
the crap with FB is just that. crap. i see people checking into places all the time and they are my friends. it annoys me. just cuz he went to a museum or whatever doesnt mean he is enjoying himself. specially if it was pulling teeth to get him to do it. go with the flow guys do whatever, even if they dont like it, until they are comforatable saying no or giving excuses. at least i was.
idk if he is happy. all i know is i wasnt. i was willing to put up with it because i didnt want to rock the boat. i wouldnt be so stressed if i was you. unless i really liked museums, i would get pretty sick of that quick. then when he does, she might start trying to "force" him to do stuff. he didnt like that about you. probly wont like it about her. maybe he will see the common denominator is himself. maybe not.
either way. you said it yourself, you are a catch. keep being positive about YOU. all the things you have done are amazing. keep it up. im reading a book about unconditional love. when you love yourself it is easier to love others with no expectations. people notice that and are drawn to it. he might be as well. if not, oh well. you will be happy and at peace.
Originally Posted By: Brit45
My sister gave me the 2x4 tonight. She said there were reasons you walked away and those reasons are now lessons. She said think of your past relationships you never would have dreamed then that you'd meet H and in 5 years you'll say I can't believe how I feel compared to this time in my life. And she's right.
think about this. happiness starts with you. love starts with you.
You are amazing. I love your line about how pretty you are and now that you're even prettier..I feel the same way! My h is truly missing out. I find it entertaining when guys I just meet are like " who's the idiot who left you?" And I just think I know right?!
Keepbup the good work. I know on db you can make them like private without deleting him if you don't want to completely delete him. I know its hard not to check on that stuff but stay strong. It only hurts you or makes you sad!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
You are amazing. I love your line about how pretty you are and now that you're even prettier..I feel the same way! My h is truly missing out. I find it entertaining when guys I just meet are like " who's the idiot who left you?" And I just think I know right?!
Keepbup the good work. I know on db you can make them like private without deleting him if you don't want to completely delete him. I know its hard not to check on that stuff but stay strong. It only hurts you or makes you sad!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
You are amazing. I love your line about how pretty you are and now that you're even prettier..I feel the same way! My h is truly missing out. I find it entertaining when guys I just meet are like " who's the idiot who left you?" And I just think I know right?!
Keepbup the good work. I know on db you can make them like private without deleting him if you don't want to completely delete him. I know its hard not to check on that stuff but stay strong. It only hurts you or makes you sad!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
You are amazing. I love your line about how pretty you are and now that you're even prettier..I feel the same way! My h is truly missing out. I find it entertaining when guys I just meet are like " who's the idiot who left you?" And I just think I know right?!
Keepbup the good work. I know on db you can make them like private without deleting him if you don't want to completely delete him. I know its hard not to check on that stuff but stay strong. It only hurts you or makes you sad!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
brit, defriend him on fb. the guy is sleeping with another woman and he's married to you. i know you said you still wanted to be his friend but it can't be that way at this time. you're not detached. maybe in the future.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Maggie thank you so much....you have really come a long way since I've "known" you I love your new attitude and being so positive. Thank you!
SS, it's hard I can't defriend him. I think that would be the old me. Plus we are mutual friends with my S and other family members. I don't want to play out my drama in front of them. Plus he's the one making himself look like an a$$. I have hidden him and I just need some self restraint to NOT look at his page. I thought about leaving FB, but that would be being a victim.
Dakota, he does enjoy some of those things or at least he did...I do think right now he doesn't have a project, he's in that honeymoon phase etc.
I woke up this morning and attempted the handyman project he was going to do. I'm not strong enough and there are screws sticking out but at least it's holding up. LOL!!! I'll get S to help me later. He's pretty strong.
The funny thing is it used to upset me when I'd think about how he was out going to places that he never went to with me while I wasn't GAL'ing. Truth is I'd had such a great weekend and last night I was cozy on my sofa with my dog completely happy to be doing nothing rather than worrying that I was missing out on life.
He says he doesn't know if he can get past my R with my coworker...I don't know if I can get past this. I can see more from his side of the fence. When he says who knows maybe in the future it's because the idea of me dating/sleeping with/going to Valentine's Dinner with another guy was too much for him to "get over" just like the idea of me "getting over" him moving in with a girl, taking her on exciting day trips, putting it on FB for all our friends and family to see is a bit too much for me right now.
I am being still as everyone says. This is me venting right now. I'm making no "knee-jerk" reactions as I'm prone to do...ie: text/phone/email him, say something about his FB activity for some other reason other than the pain it caused me, go on a date with someone, decide I'm done, delete my FB, delete him off my FB. About the biggest knee jerk I did was try a bit of DIY!
Who knows my inner decision that I'm done being a martyr and I'm not happy with his actions may just be the 180 that's needed to get him to take a second look....but I'm not doing it for that reason...and if it does that's when we have to have a million convos.
almost started laughing when I read my horoscope for today:
Cast your mind back several years and think about the person you used to be. How have you changed since then? Before this amazing week is over, you may feel you have moved on just as far from the person that you were last weekend! But just as, ultimately, you are still yourself, albeit wiser and stronger, so you can rest assured that these changes won't be nerve-rackingly dramatic. It will just be helpful, inspiring, uplifting, empowering and enriching. Long- deserved gains are starting to come your way.
