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I will definitely say a prayer. So much at such a young age.

My ex tried it several times during our marriage - I guess it indicated how messed up he really was.

But it does SO much to the ones left behind and it is usually just a quick decision.

So sorry.

Barb

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Oh no, we cross posted! So sorry.

I'm so sorry your niece is going through this. 18 is a tough age to begin with but to add that kind of trauma to it just makes it doubly hard.

Prayer are on the way for her and her family and a HUGE hug for you my dear friend.


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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The sad thing is that she does so much of this to herself. Her Dad was killed in a motorcycle accident when they were little and my brother and their Mom got married maybe within a year or so of it happening. Their Mom sued the guy that killed her H and so the girls both had a trust fund. (my younger neice is the one whoi is in remission from cancer)

Anyway, she got a hold of 30,000 of the trust fund money last year and blew through it in 6 months. She quit college, quit her job, had her mom co-sign the lease for her apartment but then she moved out. Then had her Mom co-sign the lease on the house she was living in with her boyfriend and of course that has become a disaster.

What she needs is a strong parental figure I believe. Her Mom spoils both the girls rotten and won't let my brother have a say in raising them. They are both messed up. My nephew is the only kid that has it together and he is only 13. I feel so bad that this has happened but don't know what to do with them in Alabama and myself in Kansas.

I would say send her to me but without my being there as much as she would need, I don't see that working. Can't expect my kids to straighten out their own cousin. She is still on watch right now. She swallowed a bunch of pills thinking they would just knock her out but instead they caused he a bunch of pain.

kat


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Hi! Kat, I'll add her to my prayers. Hopefully her mom will realize the spoiling is not working...is she in therapy?

Karen


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My dad just emailed that they wanted her to under go a psych evaluation but her Mom refused to sign the paperwork. The state made her their ward. My brother is speaking with a lawyer to try to get the paperwork done so they can get custody back but he still isn't sure her mom will sign.

It is a mess. Maybe she is better off as a ward of the state...

kat


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Kat: Maybe she IS better off. Obviously her mother cannot let go and is killing her with kindness. Our job as parents is not to give our kids everything they want but to teach them to appreciate, learn to become independent and support them when they need help - but mostly to let them struggle on their own for a bit.

A psych evaluation is in order. I assume she is in hospital. It is not likely they will let her out without a complete psych workup and probably counselling for the whole family. That is probably the best that can come out of this.

It IS a mess. You can probably help your brother by being there for him - even if it is by phone or email.

Hugs,

Barb

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Why in the heck wouldn't she sign the paperwork for an eval? That's ridiculous. The girl needs help...now!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Posts: 10,326
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kat727 Offline OP
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My Sister-in-Law is a bit different to say the least. I think she wants to be their friend. Isn't doing either of the girls a whole lot of good. Hopefully a L might be able to get her to see reason.

Times like this I thank God for the kids I have. I am blessed. They may not always be angels but they are pretty consistently good. We look out for each other.

kat


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Sorry to hear everything going on with your SIL and niece. Sad to say, maybe she is better off as a ward of the state.

You are definitely blessed, but a big part of that is because of how much time and work and kindness you have put into your kids.


Michelle - Proud DR Rockette
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No new news on my niece. S16 and I just spent over an hour cutting saplings from around my backyard. I am worn out. We have a huge pile of branches to break down but I think since their is a chance of a storm, I will put that off until tomorrow.

Not getting anywhere much on my grandpa's side of the family but because there is such a large number of children on my great grandma's side a lot of work has already been done. I am distantly related to the British actor Ralph Fiennes and there are members of the nobility there. One of my ancestors was on the jury of Anne Boleyn. I knew I had strong ties to Britain.

kat


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