So I now know that he's hidden me from FB. My son said that he sees every check in H makes and it gets sent to his phone and he saw he'd checked in at a bar. I just said oh I don't see it must be just you.
I know he's probably doing that for my feelings and I'm not naive enough to think that he isn't living a life with GF that he didn't with me. Going out etc. I don't know still bothered me....must detach
So he hadn't hidden me...she posted where they were last night and he posted where they were today.
Old Brit wants to do something rash and lash out. But I'm not. Today I've felt more and more that I wouldn't want to be in a R with the person he is. I see now that I helped rescue him that I helped him so much along the way even in keeping r's up with his family.
I don't know. I'm looking out for myself but I'm starting to feel like I bet on the wrong horse years ago.
It's all really hard isn't it. I know he has issues he needs to fix that our old R didn't work because of these issues (and mine) and yet I feel so heartbroken and love him.
My GAL weekend was ticking along nicely and then I had to see that. I am trying not to think about the outcome. I don't think that him spending time with her upset me I already know that happens. It was just a visual reminder of things I usually put out of my head.
I've stopped feeling like a WAW or a LBS. I really feel in control of myself. Yes I miss him still. But I'm adjusting and floating and it makes me feel confident.
Yea!!! I'm so glad to read this, and how you are progressing!
Me& h + S M: 13 t: 14
H moved 2/12. Own apt 05/12, EAs, PAs, gfriends, oh my! I'm done. 12/12
"I get knocked down, but I get up again.. you're never gonna keep me down" Chumbawumba
i understand your feelings. its hard when the reminders come. i know you will keep moving forward. it is so hard on the heart. i am impressed with how you have kept it open for him. you are keeping the road home smooth. keep it up. you are amazing!
stop it. you are starting to sound like me..lmao.. bitterness is part of this i think. for being left, for being mistreated. i know it hurts. find you center like you have done countless times. the pebble looks huge when you hold it up to your eye. set it down and its just a pebble. LBS were all WAS kind of at one time. we neglected our marriage in a similar manner to what they are doing now. just my take. you were able to get this far. are you going to quit now? i think i know the answer to that.
I'm not quitting we all know that. I just get anxious. And then I have to ask myself what my fear is. My fear is he has "settled down" and I won't have love I'll feel alone. That's silly because even when I was in the M I felt more alone than I do now! LOL and I'm not ready to be in love so that's not an option. I'm lucky enough to have his friendship so I'm sticking with that. And I'll re evaluate in the future
brit, i know how you feel. each day is a new challenge. one day we're glad they're gone and see all the reasons why we can't be with them, the next, they're the love of our lives and we want them home so badly. if this healing were only a straight trajectory instead of a roller coaster. it would be so much easier. up, down, up, down! no wonder we suffer from anxiety! we're waiting for the next dip...
you are doing great. i have lots of faith in you because you are so wise.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
