Accuray, I do actually have some "gay" guy friends that have been asking to hang out. Just haven't been able to make our schedules work thus far. But I totally get what you're saying and I think having them around would very much help me for the time being. And no strings attached whatsoever!! LOL!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
H and I talked briefly today about the issues our tenants have been having with our house. I'm just starting to feel like our house is somewhat turning into a money pit. Or maybe our tenants are being more high maintenance than usual, IDK.
After we went over some things that needed to be addressed. I later told him, "oh yeah, and my car needs to be registered this month :("
He said, "and the tail light needs to be fixed huh." I said, yes, yikes!
He told me that he would look into getting a new tail light for me and he would help with the registration if I would print out some updated pictures of the kids for his work (I'm a photographer). He doesn't even have a picture of D1.
My first thought was, I don't really want to give him pictures because those are things that are MY talents which he has chosen not to have a part of his life. It's like, why don't you have OW go take pictures of the kids and use those? Oh, because she doesn't know how? Oh, I'm sorry... can't help you there.
But, of course, I said... sure. Not worth getting in a fight over and seems totally miniscule since he is willing to help me pay for my car to get registered but I feel like he does take advantage of the fact that I have amazing pictures of the kids and he wants them.
It makes me upset because he said last year in October when he went to his aunt's house in Wisconsin (I was not invited), he was looking around at all of her pictures of her family... (which I took) and thought, these are great pictures but I don't really miss her or feel like I need her in my life.
So if he doesn't need me in his life then he can get his own pictures taken of the kids. Just feeling like he takes me for granted in that way. He gets bugged that I like to take pictures all the time but then when we look back at all the things I've captured throughout our kids' childhood, well maybe its not such a bad thing after all?? And then he says to me, if you have any cool pictures of the kids, will you send them to me? (um, no, I won't)
I'm only venting here because these are things I wish I could say to him but won't.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
I get that JKS. H does that to me. Asks me for things when it is convenient and benefits him. Like texting him directions. Or asking me to put his sunglasses in my purse when we are indoors. Or asking me to send him photos/videos of the kids from my iPhone. No No NO! You don't want me in your life, remember????
It hurts. And they just don't get it or they just don't care.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
"He told me that he would look into getting a new tail light for me and he would help with the registration if I would print out some updated pictures of the kids for his work"
When he says something like that, you should have said. That's okay I've got it taken care of. Show him that you don't need him. Guys hate that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
yes, but these are things only you can give and some day he may remember that and miss them? IMO, it's your opportunity to show what you have and the OW does not.
i keep doing wifely things for my husband even though we're apart. i'm hoping, as he comes to his senses, he'll remember how hard it would be to do without me. just saying...
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
What he needs to do is MISS the things you do. If you keep giving them to him, he won't be able to do that. I would suggest that when you get a really good photo of your D, email it to him without him asking for it and write a note saying "thought you'd appreciate this" And that's all. You can send him little things here and there but only on your time.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"He told me that he would look into getting a new tail light for me and he would help with the registration if I would print out some updated pictures of the kids for his work"
When he says something like that, you should have said. That's okay I've got it taken care of. Show him that you don't need him. Guys hate that.
This is EVER so true. I am a very independent person and H HATES that about me. I think that is part of the reason why he is running after OW. She is needy and more than willing to accept his help. I am not. I help him far more than he has ever helped me.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
What he needs to do is MISS the things you do. If you keep giving them to him, he won't be able to do that. I would suggest that when you get a really good photo of your D, email it to him without him asking for it and write a note saying "thought you'd appreciate this" And that's all. You can send him little things here and there but only on your time.
I like this A LOT!!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
"I am a very independent person and H HATES that about me. I think that is part of the reason why he is running after OW. She is needy and more than willing to accept his help. I am not. I help him far more than he has ever helped me."
if he hates your independence and you continue to be independent, won't he continue to hate that about you? won't he continue to run after the OW who is showing him a different side? i'm confused as to the logic?
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Yes, I know. But I don't want to change that side of me. That is one thing I am not going to compromise. I am very proud of my independence. H is extremely co-dependent and he often likes to act like my father. I want a husband, not a dad.
Not that I would not accept help if I needed it, but I like to do things for myself. That is part of what makes me, me.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
