Hi Mish!!...just checken in on ya, sorry allergies are so bad, mine havent hit yet but im sure there comen....Id suffer the allergies to live in GA anytime though, have always wanted to live there..:)
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
Why does every day have to be such a struggle? I would love just one week (I won't say a day because that is just not enough to get over the residual crud) where I could breathe and feel like everything is good.
I won't whine. That is just tiresome and pointless. I'm just exhausted from living in a constant state of worry and minor panic. The first of the month is the worst. It creates bad dreams that cause the next day to be horrible. And the cycle continues........
On a positive note, I had two free movie tickets and took Marc to see "The Hunger Games" last night. It was SO good but the book was better.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Big hugs Mish. Thanks for your well wishes(man that loss hurts). Anyway back to the real world right?
I know you have said that it has been really hard for you to see positives or visualize them. I really do believe that what you put out into the universe comes back to you. So we have to figure out a way to get those good thoughts booming.
When things go wrong, for the most part, I have gotten so much better about breaking them down. Taking them one at a time and not trying to look at all these bad things happening. You and I can handle one bad thing, right?
Another thing that might help is writing down each day what you are grateful for. You have a great son, a partner and a job as well as a plce to sleep each night and food to eat. You get to see cardinals flying around and beautiful gardens of flowers. You live near a big city so that you can come up with lots of different things to do. I am sure you can add more.
Now what is one thing that you really want? You can cut out a picture of it, draw it, imagine it? Write it down and start focusing on that one thing happening or becoming yours. think about it at least a few times a day. Let's see what happens. No negative thoughts, just give it a go.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Funny thing kat! I just actually did that pinning up a picture as a goal.
That picture? The cruise ship I want to be sitting my behind on next summer with my family.
It may have to be pushed to 2 years, but if I shoot for next year then I may be closer to my goal by then that if I tell myself 2 years.
The blessings in my life FAR outnumber the curses. Like you said, I can handle one bad at a time. It's the accummulation that overwhelms. I'm dealing with it as best I can. The panic just gets me into a dark place some days but not half as many as it used to.
One more thing I want that I'm working on is to be healthier by next year.
I work on that daily. I go to the gym 4-5 times a week. I may not be able to work out as hard as I would like but I'll work my way there. My diet is a real problem since the ability to buy healthy food when I need to is sometimes lacking but I do what I can.
I'm so glad it's spring and I'm breaking out of the 'comfort food curse' that I cocoon in during the winter. We are having lots of salads, fruit, and wraps now that the produce is going WAY down in price. So nice! Meat is still FAR too expensive but when I see a sale, I stock as much as I can. So far, so good.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
The more the merrier! LOL