^^^^^^^^That is exactly how we communicated. I would ask her a question and would either get a blank stare or a I dunno. And my questions weren't life or death questions. But other times she would answer right away. When she hesitated I felt that she was hiding something and I got frustrated. Goof point.
So the lesson here is "don't marry an Italian"
@Mach gonna make the Cap.n Therapissed my screen name. Lol
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
On a scale of one to ten, with one being "no confidence in myself whatsoever" and ten being "completely confident in myself," rate your current level of self-worth.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
This number has likely lowered since the divorce process began. Having your self-worth threatened by another individual, especially someone you trusted, can be debilitating. Your mind probably plays tricks on you, and that is Satan's influence
Got this^^^^from the divorce care daily email. Exactly how I am feeling today. Guess I am a 5 today.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
There's some food for thought: how is my confidence level? I haven't given it much thought. It's certainly not high, but it isn't very low... but 5 just sounds optimistic to me right now.
Rick - glad you're at least at the water-line!
Me: 31 W: 28 M: almost 6 T: 10.5 S2 Bomb#1: 05/11 Bomb#2: 11/11 S'd: 11/28/11 Moved back in: 12/28/11 MC: 06/28/12
On a scale of one to ten, with one being "no confidence in myself whatsoever" and ten being "completely confident in myself," rate your current level of self-worth.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Life is about perspective buddy....
Look at the bright side...
I'm sure you scored way higher on the "ugly" scale....
Lol the ugly scale goes from handsome to super handsome. So I am good either way.
I attended divorce care tonite. The young guy came in tears but said nothing. He sat next to me. They showed a tape about healing. He and the girl next to him sobbed the whole time. Heart breaking. I did not stay for the 2nd half but he followed me outside. Tells me that he met with his L today and maybe D on Wednesday. Too bad he is not open to DBing. I really tried but he is very resistant. I think for those who won't "Drop the gun" this will be more difficult. Don't remember who posted that for me here early on. But I get it now.
Stop defending yourself and listen. Look at patterns of behaviors and see what sounds true. When more than one person tells you that there is something about you that irks them, listen. They are on to something.
In 4 weeks I too will be in court. But I hope to deal with this as a strong, confident and dignified man that I know I can be.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
W said happy birth day to me this morning. I said thank you. Came home an hour early just to hang and play some MW3. Needed to clear my head. It than hit me D never came out of her room to hug me and wish me a happy birth day. That really hurt. I may have been a crappy H but father to her never. I am here because I chose to be here. I am tired and don't know what W is saying to her. I am mostly gone working and don't see her all day. The old me would have walked and said ef it. That is how I was treated. But this is who I am today. I don't get it.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Go knock on your D's door and say, "Hey, what's up? You don't even wish your dear old Dad and happy birthday?" and give her a big hug, tell her you'll take her out for ice cream or something for your birthday. Don't let others ruin your day.
Thinking of you!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Dont take it so personal that your D didnt wish you Happy Bday. She is 15. Even if George Clooney was her dad she would think he was a dork and would forget to tell him Happy Birthday
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I want to thank you for suggesting that I read your thread. I can relate so much with you and am learning a lot about my own anger issues.
Thank you for also being so open and candid. Your courage in facing this head-on is a source of inspiration for me as I fight with some of the same demons myself.
Even though it's your birthday, you are giving me a gift.
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
