Dark Shadows & Light at the End of the Tunnel?

[2thepoint]

I guess my W will always be my Hon regardless of where we end up. Sigh!

Heading back home tomorrow morning after a week of GAL and business development. Got lucky and sold 3 properties during my time away. The success of this week has me reevaluating whether or not I want to pursue my side business as a full time endeavor.

I guess I'll have a lot to consider in the coming weeks. I still would prefer a more reliable work situation so I will need to weigh the pros and cons.

Well, that's all for now. It's going to be interesting to see what the coming week has in store for me.

[sayitaintso]

Wow 2, great job on the business front. A little luck never hurts but don't sell yourself short, you closed the deals.

Good Luck on the return, I know you can't wait to see the boys.

[BklynMom]

Why not work on both right now? Looking for a stable salaried job while doing your side business, if you land a great salaried job you can take it but dont have to settle for a mediocre one.

Congrats on the sales. Does your W know about the sales yet?

[2thepoint]

SIAS- yes, looking forward to seeing the boys and signing S10's new arm cast.

Bklyn- working on both is exactly what I'm doing at present. Really would prefer a stable, predictable salary.

Yes, told my W about the sales. Just have to wait for the closings....just in time for my trip to Spain!!

[2thepoint]

Somewhere 25 recently posted about a book she read several years ago titled, "A year By the Sea." Last week before leaving for Arizona, I found the book at a half price book store and made a point of reading it while I was away in Arizona.

The book was a quick and easy read. But what I found interesting was that the story line so closely follows what I perceive as my W's current thinking and frame of mind, that it felt like I was reading our life story.

The fact that the setting takes place initially on Long Island where my W is from and then a year at a seaside cottage up in New England, (my W loves the beaches of Long Island and New England) really adds to the appeal of the story line.

Anyway the story is about a woman's search for her true identity after she splits with her H. The story couldn't have been more emblematic of what my W and I are going through. So, after reading the book I decided to give it to my W. In doing so, I included the following note:

"I recently discovered this book and see a lot of you and us reflected in its pages. There is even a surprise coincidence that you will recognize immediately. The book touched me and I think it will touch you too. It is a short, easy read. I hope you enjoy it."

Early this evening I stopped by the house to take the boys out for burgers ans shakes and while there I told my W that I had something for her. She gave me a dirty look and said what is it?! Clearly she did not want me to give her anything.

I handed her the book and the last I saw, she was perusing the front and back cover. I hope she reads it and finds some inspiration. I guess time will tell.

[sayitaintso]

Like^^^^^

[2thepoint]

Learned something I found to be very interesting tonight. My W has a friend who I have mentioned in previous posts who has 2 children and is divorced within the last year or so.

Shortly after her D she was engaged to another man, had planned a wedding and then abruptly called off the wedding. Then a few months later, she was living with and engaged to yet a different man.

Well today I learned that she broke up with that person and...wait for it.... got remarried to her original husband and father of her children!!

I bring this up because this friend is the very person who my W had modeled her "escape" from our M after. Early in our sitch my W made the comment about how we could just send in the D paperwork and things would go very smoothly and we could sell the house and each buy a house in the same neighborhood so we could share the kids, etc. BARF!!

So now my wife has vowed that her hermit days are over and her Friday french martini nights will be spent with that very friend who just remarried her Ex.

Makes me wonder what her plans look like now.

[ces67]

Its all confusing.... I hope this turn of events with her friend ends up being a good influence for her and for your M.

Be prepared for nothing in the immediate future. If seeds of promise are planted, it will take time for them to grow and your W will probably fight them at least at first.

Its a good positive to see someone else restore their marraige. Keep your training up for the distance run though.... Hope your weekend goes well.

[Rick1963]

Hey 2. I hope what I am about to say does not offend you. It is not my intention. First let me tell you that in the last few weeks something has happened to my thinking. I like everyone else have been focused on my WAS and her every move. But I started looking at me more carefully. Still was not clear of what was happening within me. But this week I think I got it. I think it was after the smack down I got at the beginning of the week by some wonderful people that I am very grateful for. I am no longer obssessed with her. I think less and less about her. So I feel much better and happier. Truthfully, the future is starting to look bright again.I am almost excited.

If you ask me I will said that I have 0% chance of saving my M. But I think I'm ok with it now. Things might change later on but who knows.

I don't think things will improve for you if you continue to obssess over your W and day dream about what ifs... I think you would do better if you focus on the changes you need to make. You need to prepare yourself mentally for the worse but hope for the best. Let her go. Hang in there

[2thepoint]

Yep, CES I have no expectations and so I just keep plugging along. I think it is helpful though to note the event mileposts and keep moving forward.

No worries Rick, I'm not offended by things people say on these forums since I know they are always intended to help and not harm and because we all are or have been in the same sitch. So I'm cool.

I don't think I'm really obsessing abut my W's every move. I'm just making little notes about various events and then filing them away and moving forward.

I continue with my job search as I see that as a huge obstacle to truly being able to free myself. Until then, all I can do is work on me. I continue with my T sessions, attend round 2 of DivorceCare and am evaluating other options that I might have in order to move on.

My roommate is planning a dinner event with me, his GF and a friend of hers and I am looking forward to sharing company with someone of the opposite sex. I'm not planning on dating mind you, just looking for a little friendly conversation and relaxation.

And I continue to move forward. I went away for a week last week and had little to no contact with my W. In about a month or so I'm off to Spain and am really looking forward to that trip as well.

I agree my emotional attachment is still pretty strong but I keep working on that and I'll get there eventually.

Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it!