1. Got an email from X. We have very little interaction. Lots of information regarding finances - even an admission that divorce has taken its toll on finances. The last paragraph surprised the crap out of me...
I understand why but I hate that our relationship is like this. I still do hope that along the way we can somehow come to an agreement to at least be able to speak to each other amicably in public and have decent conversations, if not for ourselves but for our kids, friends and other relatives, so that they may become more comfortable in the presence of both of us. Thanks you for sharing with me the things you knew when I was calling about son. I do appreciate all the things you have done for me and the kids over the years. I am sorry that I have blamed you for so many things in the past when I now realize that it was my own fault that I was not happy and experiencing the problems that I did…
Hmmmmm.... Not a bad letter to get in and of itself...maybe a start to a better place.
2. My son gets a 17 page letter from XH's brother. Concerned about son's "soul". Basically spent part of the letter explaining why Catholicism is evil.
This ^^^^ drives me NUTS! It's the angry evangelicals who think their energy should be spent on condeming other Christians...go feed the hungry or convert some non-Christians--but oh, btw, start by modelling Christ's behavior,
not the ones who crucified him...good grief...
And they ALWAYS project their ignorance of our faith onto us, telling us what we believe (and I've never heard one of them get it right--saying we "worship" the Pope or that he's the Anti-Christ...yeah real normal thing to say) ETC...
Never in my life have I EVER tried to get someone to BE Catholic but countless times have other "Christians" told me why I don't belong...
Sorry, but that pushed so many buttons in me...@#$%^!!!!!
Then stated that "I know the divorce is hard. I have told your Dad that he is a sinner and that his girlfriend is a sinner. Have tried to get him to read the bible and repent. But he won't do it." Then talks to him about how son has to turn his life around before its too late.
My son sees his uncle once every 2 years. I try very hard to not be judgmental. And I always question myself or second guess myself - "am I the crazy one? is there something wrong with me?" But I feel like my former BIL crossed a boundary.
Anyway - just a very strange day.
He crossed a line big time.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
the brother in law crossed a boundary by lecturing your child on his faith. NOT his job, let alone to criticize it.
I've never understood the whole "bash another denomination" thing anyhow. Why aren't people just glad I find comfort in my faith?
Same for your bil. And your son is YOUR son, and it's not his uncle's job to lecture him on the "evils of Catholicism".
And I'm making an assumption here, but I'd bet you a big glass of evil Merlot wine
that his "info" and "insights" are inaccurate and bigoted...
So that's the boundary I meant.
Sorry it bugged me so much but it touched a chord I may discuss later-
okay now
the first and only time I ever knew someone didn't like Catholics
was when my mil refused to attend the baptism of our son, her only grandchild at the time.
When my h asked her why, she was on the speaker phone and said
"b/c it's Catholic"...
while there were other issues she had - THAT SENTENCE changed our r
forever...
Kudos to you for handling things with so much grace.
Your h knows it, and he his HIS stuff to deal with IF and WHEN that happens... but you won't have any regrets for being a woman of dignity and grace in adversity. You are also modelling that for your son.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanks for the clarification! I've never understood it either - I keep thinking "I've tried to live a good, clean life and model that for my kids"...so was he saying I was doing something wrong by following my faith?
At this point my GAS factor on the whole thing = 0!!!!:)
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
