Yes, I also almost never scheduled time for myself and when I did the old guilt monster reared its ugly head. Guilt monster must die!
H has been so resolute in his decision to be away from me that I can't help but think about how much better things could be if he only put as much energy into working on the marriage. But I have no control over him.
IC appt this a.m. That usually helps.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
hello lady, sorry to hear you were a little down, but I think that is par for the course for what you are going through. You seem to be making good progress, but sometimes will have a little down day.
This weekend I had a great time, got to spend time with my family at my brothers place in Pennsy, cold, about 0 degrees every morning, but we got alot of good physical work done, cut wood, shoveled snow in the driveway, outdoors most of the day, sitting by the fire each night having a cold beer and talking about old time. One of my younger brothers is being deployed to Afghan next month, this was our goodbye get together with him, so,bittersweet. I was feeling great last night, this morning, a little down, nothing compared to the depths of depression a couple of mos ago, but not as good as I have been feeling, but I attribute this to not sleeping well last night.
So, bottom line, we will have these days, but we are making progress, and I can tell you are moving along at a healthy pace, keep it up!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Wow, I haven't been this down in a long time. Just this morning as I see by the post above, I was doing fine, or at least trying to convince myself I'm fine.
(venting) H never contacts me. We have a 19 year old son who is not in school this semester due to poor choices. He just told his dad that tonight but will H contact me to talk about it? No! As I've heard so many here ask "How can they just walk away from everything?" How can it go from one day sharing everything to the next day nothing.
I know he had checked out long before he left. I know I hurt him a lot with my controlling ways and my anger and resentment. He!! I didn't even like me. I truly own all that and I'm working on changing and have made great progress, but tonight it seems useless.
It's coming up on a year since he left in which time we've had very little face-to-face contact and minimal email contact about money, house, tax, kid issues. Still no talk of a divorce or anything to do with the R. I've only been DBing since Oct-Nov. Am I expecting too much. (I know, I know, I shouldn't be expecting at all.)
Why is the limboland of this so painful. If he's so done why doesn't he just get it over with?
It's coming up on a year since he left in which time we've had very little face-to-face contact and minimal email contact about money, house, tax, kid issues. Still no talk of a divorce or anything to do with the R.
Would he be open to regular discussion about the R? I mean, if you simply told him that you have had many awakenings about how you were in the R and want to maybe have regular discussions about it. Maybe, just baby steps discussions? Would he feel safe enough to try it?
