It's been quite a while since I posted anything here. There are only a couple of my former friends still posting, wii, Gypsy, SunFun......
I just celebrated my first anniversary with my new wife (Gym Woman) for you DB Archaeologists. Things could not be better. For those of you still spinning, reeling, wringing your hands: I could not have been more distraught than a mere 5 or 6 years ago on this site: posting every 10 minutes, seeing every post as the next lifeline to get me through the next hour, and yes...the darkest despair that you can imagine. As you older posters may remember...I tried to take a "dirt nap" by prescription medication. I don't think there was a lower low possible. Most of you recognize that awful cavern, but I can assure you, I was WRECKED. BUT...if you can hold on....if you can get that next ten minutes....slowly crawl out of that abyss, it WILL get better. My good fortune may be an exception, but it CAN and DOES happen.
For all the changes we try to make in ourselves, because we have been told by our former spouses "we are too much this...we aren't enough of that....you know what? SOMETIMES it's NOT you! With a few minor tweaks in my behaviors, my new wife thinks I'm the greatest guy around. I always thought I was a pretty decent person, but when you get figuratively kicked in the head every day, you start to believe some of the hype thrown out there by an ex-spouse.
They never seem to find that bright elusive butterfly of happiness that they are chasing...cause you know what? Sometimes, maybe it IS them......
To all my old friends: You are some great people. Happy Thanksgiving. I hope life gets much better for all of you!
I don't think there was a lower low possible. Most of you recognize that awful cavern, but I can assure you, I was WRECKED. BUT...if you can hold on....if you can get that next ten minutes....slowly crawl out of that abyss, it WILL get better. My good fortune may be an exception, but it CAN and DOES happen.
That's nice to hear. Congratulations. It's hard to see much good from where many of us are right now. You've been in a bad place and you made it out. I'm happy for you.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Thanks for the responses. I intend to try and get back here periodically, because this place was such a place of refuge and consolation for me during my "Excellent Adventure".
I thought I'd try and rebuild my life in installments when I re-deployed from Iraq, never dreaming that I would run into such good fortune almost immediately.
This WAS not the kind of luck I was used to for the previous 5 years!
As some of you recall, my year in Iraq allowed me to regain my confidence, and come home almost impervious to STBXW's slings and arrows. (What are you going to do? Send me to Iraq?) I may be the only person ever who went to war to SAVE his life.
I met my current wife in the gym after being home for two months from Iraq. It was the weirdest thing. We knew each other years ago, as our kids were in the same school. Her husband did the old "I'm not happy" in 2001 (code for: I'm scr*wing my secretary), a week after 9/11, and she was divorced within the year, moved away, got a second college degree, but returned a month before we met.
It's true. Things come your way when your LEAST expect it. Don't think I could ever do the Match.com/eHarmony dealio. No, I KNOW I couldn't have done that.
If some of you have the time, and you think that you are down and will never get back on your feet, look at some of my earliest posts. It will probably make you feel much better about yourself, and my XW may make your XW/XH look like the voice of reason!
I was a complete basket case......just wanted to die, and was almost successful in making that happen too! Went to work and closed my door and hoped for the day to end. Couldn't handle a routine issue.
Had a STBXW who was as twisted and as angry as it gets, and an older daughter who was out of control with a midlle daughter with a significant eating disorder (who is now a sophomore at a great college in Boston, and is doing OK!) Oldest daughter; not so much (Ugh!)
Hang in there.
There were some old timers who were really supportive: COG, FrankD (who I actually called!) Timothy 2:23 runningoutoftime, ancient history! I NEVER EVER thought in 2006 I would EVER write posts like this.
