Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[mishka422]

OMG! Scary! So glad to hear you are ok and D9 wasn't injured. That is horrible.

Bummer about the car, but....that's what insurance is for. Stinks, but such is life.

[oldtimer]

So sorry that happened! Give yourself time to heal, you may need more time than you think once the shock has worn off.

I saw about your DD and meds. I wonder if you have tried any natural supplements? I ask because I have ADD and have found Taurine, Tyrosine, and GABA to be INCREDIBLY beneficial -- like as good or better than Adderall without the scary side effects. They soooo help with the stress, anxiety, irritability in addition to inattentiveness/attention-switching problems.

If you google, you'll see lots of stuff. I saw one supplement (Focus Formula for Children) http://www.nutrasanus.com/focus-formula-product.html that looks good, though I've never used it. Instead, I use individual supplements.

Anyway, if my DD starts showing signs of ADD I'll use something like that before trying Adderall and such. The difference in me is as dramatic as with prescription meds, much evener, and I don't have to worry about taking the supplements too late in the day.

[mishka422]

Hey OT, not to butt in here in CTH's thread but can you pop over to my thread and tell me more about Tyrosine and GABA. I've used Taurine with my son before but it had no effect. I've never heard of the other two or using the combination.

[ClingingToHope]

I'll be heading around town in a Mazda 6 for about three weeks.

Funny thing is the car is going to complicate the bankruptcy. I was also encouraged to see an attorney about a personal injury suit and I have an appointment Tuesday.

[ClingingToHope]

Next few weeks are going to be interesting, filled with insurance stuff from the accident.

Nurses were right. I felt good on Thursday, a little sore on Friday, worse on Saturday, worse again on Sunday and today I'm really worried about my neck.

I'd hate to get knocked out of working out for a few weeks. It's so hard to climb the mountain.

Ah the crazy world of online dating. I was supposed to meet up with a lady Saturday night who doesn't live here but was going to be in town with friends. She never texted or called though.

The DateHookUp girl hasn't responded to my last two messages. I will wait another day, send one more and if she doesn't respond to that then I'll move on mentally.

I am disappointed about the DHU lady. That looked very promising. I am, all of a sudden, without prospects again. Sigh.

Still, my mind is preoccupied with the insurance stuff. A friend of mine is an insurance adjustor and he does auto. He called Friday, I laid out what happened and where I was banged up.

He said if he had caught the case, right away he'd be thinking of a figure that would allow me to avoid bankruptcy entirely. He said adjustors would be aggressive in my case because of the fact I lost consciousness and had a CAT scan.

So now I'm trying to not get my hopes up. Avoiding bankruptcy would be something.

D12 had a performance tonight and tomorrow she sings in her talent show. D9 has had a couple of good weeks. She got 3 Bs and an A on her report card even with her first quarter behavioral struggles.

D12 had all As and Bs and just one C. She's doing well.

[ClingingToHope]

Went to D12's talent show last night. She was singing "Hallelujah" as a solo. I was sooooooooooooooooo nervous. But she did really well. She forgot one line midway through, but she rallied and it really sounded good.

I was surprised. I mean you praise your kids all the time to build their confidence. But when she was done she got quite an ovation. She was beaming after. A boy she likes told her "great singing."

Ah to be young again.

I sat behind XW and XMIL for the show and after we all went out to eat. I paid and said it was courtesy of the guy that plowed into D9 and I last week. I already got payment for the car.

Strange feeling. Knowing that I'm going to be OK financially left me feeling .... sorry for XW. I know the bills are mounting -- the roof is leaking at the house and she called to ask for contractor referrals. I know work is piling up on her.

The early days of WAS bliss, living in the clouds, is over. She's into reality.

I do feel sorry for her. I was devoted to the family and trying to figure out how to make her happy. I failed in that, but reading these boards I've come to realize that not everyone finds a person who puts the spouse's happiness ahead of their's.

[oldtimer]

" I failed in that, but reading these boards I've come to realize that not everyone finds a person who puts the spouse's happiness ahead of their's."

This is not really a good thing, ya know?

[mishka422]

I was just about to say the same thing OT.

Through all this pain it finally dawned on me (with lots of beating over the head from others here and C) that each person is responsible for their own happiness and it should come first. When you are happy yourself, with yourself, then you become a better partner and are better at bringing happiness into someone else's life. You can not make someone else happy, you can only add to their own.

[Drew]

Amen!!

[ClingingToHope]

So things are getting worse for XW. I sent her the name of a reputable roofer. When I dropped D9 off I went inside to see the damage. There wasn't much in D12's room. Then D9 said "come see the basement."

So I go down to the 3-season porch and there's a ton of water stains around the column leading to the chimney.

I knew right away that the roof leaked around the chimney.

I headed to work and got texts from XW. The roofer said the rubber roof was put on incorrectly in 2007 and it's likely been leaking for a long time. There could be mold and serious damage to the walls.

So now XW is in a fix. The house is going into foreclosure and may need massive repairs -- although that likely would come from the prior roofer's insurance. But at least right now she has to decide whether to make at least a temporary fix so they can stay there through the foreclosure process.

The house does have a very musty smell though. Before, I chalked it up to all of the pets. It could be severe mold though, which isn't good for D12 and her asthma.

This would be a difficult night for the both of us if we were together. But we're not. I faced the fact long ago that the house and debt was going to put me into bankruptcy. It's hitting XW squarely right now and, as she wanted, she gets to face it alone.

I just feel strange. I feel vindicated in a way because in 2009 when she blissfully kicked me out I said financially we couldn't make it separately. There was too much debt and the house was a mess.

I feel happy because I felt like I was flat on my back for a long time and now I am on my way off the mat while she's crashing.

I feel guilty because I feel happy.

I feel sad and sorry for her because I want to be there to work through this together.

I feel very sad for my daughters because the day they are both dreading, leaving the only house they've ever really called home, likely is coming sooner now than later.

And I feel anxious, because who knows where they'll end up. She may drag them up by her mom, 20 minutes north of here, to a different school district, making it much more difficult to see them so much.

And now I have a headache.