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calidad Offline OP
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I am separated but living together. Wife is beautiful and it's impossible in our house not to see her naked. I have an extremely high sex drive and haven't gone more than a month without sex in 15 years. I don't know what to do. I don't want to cheat but It's really hard. Is it OK for a cyber affair while Separated? Or am I just putting energy towards divorce? Help!

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No, you should not cheat on her in any fashion. How would she feel if she decided to work on your M, and found out?
I am sure some of the others here with more experience giving out advice will reply to you shortly.
good luck
vc crazy

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I saw the title of the thread and thought it was a joke.

Um, do you want to be married? if so, the answer is obvious.

(If not, the answer is also obvious, come to think of it.)

So really, what is your situation and why are you here and what do you want?


Did you come here wanting permission to have an online affair?

Um, "Permission denied."

Now, Think this through...

How could an online affair possibly help your relationship with your w?


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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A relative did exactly that, got caught and it was the last nail in the coffin. He is now divorced. He threw away all hope with it.

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Assuming this isn't a joke, my answer is a big fat NO.
It is not ok.


"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
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if you are about to get D cheating should be the last thing on your mind. In fact you shouldn't even be hungry. But anyways, if you have a high sex drive MWD recommends masturbating. Get the DR book and start there. my 2c


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Quote:
I don't want to cheat but It's really hard.


How is it really hard? If you don't want to do it. Don't do it.

Maybe take a look at what drives you for sex.

If its purely biological, then you should be able to take care of that just fine on your own.

If its a question of being validated by another person - what kind of person is going to validate you for cheating on your spouse? how much value does that validation have for you?

Why do you need to violate your own integrity to seek that out?

Does that mean other people count more than you do in terms of how you view yourself?

If seeing your Wife naked bothers you, tell her.

"W, when I see you naked I feel X (alienated, agitated, lonely, flustered.. you fill in the feeling) because I have a need for X (sexual expression, intimacy, connection, validation, companionship, belonging, security... again you fill in what your need is). Would you be willing to cover up more for the time being?"


M: 32
W: 29
T: 9 Years
M: 4 Years
I hit rock bottom: 2/11
PA admitted: 4/11
WAW: 5/11
D filed: 6/11
now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
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get a fleshlight.

That should help a lot.

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calidad Offline OP
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Forgot to mention - she is in an EA with an OM. Guess that's my issue. I don't have a problem waiting but if she acts on it and I am sitting here with a moronic drooling smile on my face as she humiliates me, I don't know how that will solve our relationship issues.

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calidad Offline OP
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Because we are financially strapped and tied to the house - thus "Separated, living together" - her brilliant therapist's idea.

She has a habit of just being naked as she gets ready in the morning.

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