mish, the less someone is invested in a R, the easier is for him/her to walk out if the circumstances allow it. That's something I read and I find it very correct. And investement in an R, the way I see it, is being involved in all aspects of the common life. For years I used to take on the weight so my H could work and build his career. But that excluded him from things he should be involved and would get joy and pride of. I didnt realise. After what has happened, I am very careful not to deprive him the "joy" of being a part of every problem and solution. And he feels better in his skin, I can see that.
It's about time you stop assumptions based on the past. You have the knowledge and must be realistic regarding expectations but at the same time allow room for Gabe to change. Think about it and start little changes in the way you engage him into everyday problems and issues. Finances of the family arent your resposnibility only. Dont be selfish! ... Love K
Hi, mish, I just happened by your thread, and I see you are having money troubles (who isn't these days?). Kat, I believe mentioned Aldi as one place to try. I go there all the time, and although they mostly sell the basics, they are lots cheaper usually. And if you don't like a product they sell, they will give you your money back plus another product. It's mostly non-name brands, but we have tried most of them, and have had no problems, except with some weird kind of cheese that I thought would be good, but they don't sell it here anymore, anyway. Plus, they sometimes run a sale to get rid of the final few they may have of something, and I picked up five canisters of steel cut oatmeal for fifty cents each.
Also, Publix runs their buy one get one free sales, and with your coupons, you can really save some money. As for the cable tv, get one of those digital converters that they were telling people without cable to get when the changeover to digital took place. I got us two, even though at the time we didn't need them. Now when the cable goes out because of storms, we hook one of those up, and get our local channels, plus a few extra I've never heard of.
I've had to do what I can to save money, so we can pay off our credit card debt, and it is working, and we are beginning to breathe again. good luck vc
I am definitely heading to Aldi this weekend. Something has to give with these grocery bills and no amount of couponing is helping.
Lately it feels like I'm living on borrowed time. In the span of 1 week, six members of my family have been laid off. They all work for different companies and in different industries all in the Atlanta area. This is getting super scary. My business has fallen off again as companies are scrambling to plump their balance sheets as much as possible before the 4th quarter hits. This economy feels like it's going to suck us all into disaster. Very, very frightening.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
mish, the less someone is invested in a R, the easier is for him/her to walk out if the circumstances allow it. That's something I read and I find it very correct. And investement in an R, the way I see it, is being involved in all aspects of the common life. For years I used to take on the weight so my H could work and build his career. But that excluded him from things he should be involved and would get joy and pride of. I didnt realise. After what has happened, I am very careful not to deprive him the "joy" of being a part of every problem and solution. And he feels better in his skin, I can see that.
It's about time you stop assumptions based on the past. You have the knowledge and must be realistic regarding expectations but at the same time allow room for Gabe to change. Think about it and start little changes in the way you engage him into everyday problems and issues. Finances of the family arent your responsibility only. Don't be selfish! ... Love K
WOW! That's such a clear summary right there!
Even if businesses are cutting back their travel, you will see an upswing in personal travel for the holidays I would imagine (even if not as big as normal a few years ago)?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I don't do leisure travel, only corporate. That is 70% of our business so it's going to hurt. I see cuts in hours coming again soon. I just got my full time hours back in May!!!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Honestly, I'm trying not to worry about it. Whatever happens, happens right?
I think I prepped Gabe for a budget meeting tonight. I told him I paid the water bill and the gas bill so they wouldn't cut them off but WE need to sit down and figure out how to pay the electric and cable with what is left after the car payment. He said he gets paid today and I can use that. I told him I really just want him to sit down with me and help figure out how to handle all of this. He kept trying to just hand me the money to deal with it but I stayed insistent that he do it with me. We'll see........he doesn't want to be involved, never has, that's how all of this crud got dumped on me for the last 18 years. He's there, he needs to participate. I'm SO OVER IT!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hi, mishka, my H is the same way with the bills. When we got behind, and they would call him, he would(and still doers)tell them, my W handles all that, and give them my number. I really don't mind doing it at all, and giving him a report later, so he knows what is going on. I guess I am just the one who deals better with it, and since the end to the debt crisis is in sight, far far off, but in sight, I will just soldier on. At least you have Gabe helping out, now.
I told him I paid the water bill and the gas bill so they wouldn't cut them off but WE need to sit down and figure out how to pay the electric and cable with what is left after the car payment. He said he gets paid today and I can use that. I told him I really just want him to sit down with me and help figure out how to handle all of this. He kept trying to just hand me the money to deal with it but I stayed insistent that he do it with me. We'll see........he doesn't want to be involved, never has, that's how all of this crud got dumped on me for the last 18 years. He's there, he needs to participate. I'm SO OVER IT!