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Lanzo #2177669 08/14/11 12:06 AM
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Lanzo,
I think I get it, and I have been working on it--creating a more masculine-feminine balance. It depends on the woman, but I think women want a masculine-feminine blend. I have been too imbalanced on the feminine side, all of my life. It's never too late to become what we should have been years ago. My W has commented on the increased tone in my body. She's slacked off on exercise, but I've gotten back on track since the car accident.

I also think that the men who are lacking in the "feminine" skills (listening, self-expression, artistic activity) are the ones who get D. I don't want to lose my softer skills, but balance them with strength, to increase my versatility.

CL


CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching
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I'm reminded to be grateful for the teachers I've had and have in my life. A teacher I'm currently grateful for is my dance teacher. He's in his late 20's, and has a dancer's body--tone and trim. I admire him for his humor, lack of inhibition, discipline towards his craft, and work ethic.

I also admire the way he responds to his girlfriend/dance partner when she gives him a hard time (which is often). She will pick at him for talking too loud while he's teaching, or something similar. She is temperamental and prone to perfectionism, but he loves her and is tolerant of her moods. He is not a doormat and will give it back to her when she's being disrespectful. He moves on and doesn't appear to let it affect the rest of his day.

CL


CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,387
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Hi CL,

I do hope you have got it and I’d be more convinced if you simply responded “I think I get it, and I’m gonna get on with it”.

Originally Posted By: CL
I also think that the men who are lacking in the "feminine" skills (listening, self-expression, artistic activity) are the ones who get D. I don't want to lose my softer skills, but balance them with strength, to increase my versatility.
At this point in time there's no need for you to justify your behaviour /personality we already know your strengths.


Anyway we’ve all been recently been talking about less talk more action, and so that we don’t get distracted from the job at hand (which the last post and a half could do) I’ll again quote our friend Starsky.

Originally Posted By: Starsky309
In any event, I'd like to see less introspection from you (which you're already very good at), and more ACTION.


Best wishes


Lanzo

Lanzo #2178087 08/15/11 04:39 PM
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Amen.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Originally Posted By: Concerned_Listener
Lanzo,
I also think that the men who are lacking in the "feminine" skills (listening, self-expression, artistic activity) are the ones who get D. I don't want to lose my softer skills, but balance them with strength, to increase my versatility.
CL

IMHO, the "perfect man" would have feminine skills ON TOP of the masculine skills we women enjoy. Most of us tend to stick with a man that leads, makes us feel secure, has sex with us and makes us feel we are the feminine part of the equation.
K


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Kalni #2178716 08/17/11 03:35 AM
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Originally Posted By: Kalni

IMHO, the "perfect man" would have feminine skills ON TOP of the masculine skills we women enjoy. Most of us tend to stick with a man that leads, makes us feel secure, has sex with us and makes us feel we are the feminine part of the equation.
K


This makes sense to me--not a 50/50 blend but maybe a 60/40 or 70/30 with the higher number being more masculine for the man and feminine for the female.

CL


CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching
Joined: Sep 2003
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This qualifies as more action. I've been insisting that my W stay after group classes once per week at the studio to practice our private lessons. She doesn't put up much resistance. It only takes 15-30 minutes to go thru our homework 3X each dance. This is my leadership. Our teacher has given us permission to use their space anytime they are there. Her complaint is that she wants to dance more at our social dances. One solution is for both of us to expand our repertoire, so she doesn't have to rely on others. This has worked out well. We've done this three weeks in a row. Practicing at home or the fitness center doesn't go as well.

CL


CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
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Yes, that's a great example of masculine leadership, CL. Now how can you take that same template, and apply it in the boudoir?? laugh


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Starsky309 #2178932 08/17/11 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted By: Starsky
Yes, that's a great example of masculine leadership, CL. Now how can you take that same template, and apply it in the boudoir ??


Thanks Starsky, I was trying to think of a polite way to say the same thing.

Hi CL,

Another nice update however I and most of you followers (many of whom don't post) would to see you taking steps towards( and maybe even dominating) the bedroom in a way your W would apprieciate.


Take care

Lanzo

Lanzo #2179070 08/18/11 07:05 AM
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Sorry guys, I dont see anything masculine in CL convincing his wife to...practice more.

CL, how is your relationship with your wife APART from the dancing part? Do you do anything else? Anything else that doesn't include dance instructors, dance partners shows, steps etc etc? I am just wondering...
K


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
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