Marc started school yesterday. Brought home a stack of papers for me to sign, found out he still owed the library fees from last year(UGH!), and found out one of my friends is his study skills teacher for the year (oh, luck her!).
I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that this school year doesn't turn out to be a stress filled as they normally are.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I think every year is more stressful than the one before. D9 is going to have real home work this year. Ugh. And D12 is in 7th grade, hormones running wild and having to get used to a 7 period day. She's never been very organized and now organization is critical.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Well, the first week of school is behind us and already I have had an email from his spectrum coordinator advising me that he had a project due for English today and he didn't do it. Of course, that project isn't written in his agenda anywhere....UGH! And so it begins......STRESS!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Another week has passed and I'm trying my best to maintain.
I'm going to a family wedding in Maryland next month and I'm pretty stressed about it. Not really because of the wedding, I've been to a few since the bomb, but because it happens to be on the 17th of September. What would have been our 18th wedding anniversary would have been on the 18th. I don't know if any of you remember my complete breakdown last year on the 18th after asking Gabe what his definition of this new R of ours was and him asking me why it had to be anything. Well, it's a year later and I have no more definition now than I did then. I'm just as confused and cowardly as I was then. It's no better and it's making me sick.
I don't have the strength for this anymore. Today, Gabe called me to tell me he might be working until after 9pm tonight(he just started a new job Friday..part time but extra hours sometimes). When we started to hang up I told him I loved him (I don't do this often because it makes him uncomfortable), he mumbled a non-committal 'uh-huh' and hung up.
Every fiber of my being crumbled right then. I was washing dishes and talking on the phone to him one minute and the next minute I was crying and realizing that I have no place really in his life other than keeping a roof over his head and a warm body in bed. Lovely.
Some things just weren't meant to be. Why can't I just accept that?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Then decide what you want. You have had a year to think about this. He has shown you in actions that he loves you. However you need to make your life the way you want it, no one else can do that for you. If you aren't happy, remember it isn't Gabe's job to do that.
Get moving hon! kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
