When she asks for a cuddle she is making herself vulnerable for you to take advantage. When she ridicules or embarrasses you she is looking for a “caveman” reaction from you, but when you follow your normal avoidance strategy she gets annoyed and banishes you to the spare room, (Beware I can see that one coming soon).
Take care and keep trying
Lanzo
Thanks. I underestimated the significance of the cuddle. I am still feeling the sting of her comment from last week in front of our dance teachers.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
CL, you cant "dance away" the issues. You cant keep avoiding issues hoping they will magically resolve whether that is sexual intimacy, unhealthy patterns, unmet needs, cruel behaviour...
I am sorry but ballroom dancing (or any kind of dancing) cant replace an intimate relationship. I am sure it can strengthen one cause of the quality time spent together but it cant be the foundation of it. Sometimes, to me, an outsider, it seems you have it the other way around.
Thanks. I was scolded recently by our dance teacher about my tunnel vision in our dance partnership. I think dancing in our R was an early way to establish connection and should be a stepping stone towards intimacy. The problem is I haven't been stepping.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Bolero is cool, and perhaps ML is too large a step at this point but how about some real foreplay?
I suspect, this is actually easier to do than you would ever imagine. Give her a little something to work with and I think, she will help you move forward.
Try just a little bit. The minimal amount of any kind of sexual/physical/foreplay type action you can muster the courage for and see what happens.
The time has never been more right for manly action and a leap of faith.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
In your own polite way you have acknowledged all of the comments passed on recently but I get the feeling that your answers are still deflecting away from the underlying issues.
Rather than spending time reflecting on the sting of you Ws’ comments I think she would accept a more forward response from you. ie you showing her some that she could feel something special if you did some horizontal dancing in the bedroom. Ok that maybe a step too far for you now, but a cuddle and a bit more is what she is looking for. Remember its not all about penetration, there are many ways to please a woman if you are willing to try.
I remember quoting to you sometime back “ A faint heart never won a fair damsel....” the sentiment is still the same now, you need to take that leap of faith to move forward.
I am still feeling the sting of her comment from last week in front of our dance teachers.
Instead of feeling the sting...why not consider, OK, she is giving me some clear feedback. She is letting me know what is missing, now I know what I need to do.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
