Now, at this moment, when everything feels topsy-turvy, don't let it turn into that old joke of a wife walking in on her husband in bed having sex with another woman and she said, are you having an affair? And he says "Are you gonna believe me or your lying eyes."
He's lying...you wouldn't be posting if you didn't believe it.
Put the responsibility square on his shoulders.
Tell him that he needs to go get tested for STDs since he might have caught something that could infect the kids. Hepatitis for example.
Don't let him wiggle. Just say, based on this letter, we need to protect the kids, and you can make them sick. And make sure to add that he needs to get the kids tested too since he might have accidentally passed it on to them.
Hepatitis can be transferred through body fluid, so if they drank after him, used the same silverware, or he kids them on the head even.
I just want you to know that you are not alone in your pain.
Stay strong for your children.
I'm think about and praying for you.
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
He is still denying the PA despite the black and white evidence written by him! He seems in total disbelieve at how upset I am and keeps trying to act like everythings normal! asked me if I wanted to go shopping for clothes this morning. Keeps looking at me with lost little puppy eyes and saying sorry. I've told him I don't believe him and that there's no point talking if he isn't going to tell the truth.
Personally, I do not expect him to tell you that he DID have a PA.
So, considering DB is solutions based (therapy)... What happened... whatEVER happened... happened...
He knows you are upset. You can simply let him know that it will take a lot of time and effort to not have that thought not hurt so much.
Let him know that, in the mean time you would like to work with him to help you become more comfortable that is not something that would ever happen in the future...
Yes, I know what you're saying, I have been considering this myself but from the things in the letter he would have to be some sorty of crazy person to have written it all without there being an affair!!! It is so heartfelt and completely reading like he will always have a special place for her in his heart and that he can't take the pain of not being together properly any longer and that he thinks they should stop contact - he sounds so heartbroken in it and mentions sleeping with her and sending her gifts (which he's admitted he has sent but denys the sleeping with her bit). I can't see why he would write all that when drunk (which is his reason as to why he wrote it) if there was none of it going on to base his letter on!
He also sent her an email of an ice cube with a heart in it and wrote "you melt my heart xxx" under it. His reason for this is that he sent it to her to ask her opinion on if she thought it would be a good thing to send to me!! Now who does that??
His reasons to explain them are so unbelievable yet he is absolutely adamant he's telling the truth!?!? however, when I found the two cards from her on Saturday he lied about them and was adamant he was telling the truth then only to now admit that he lied on Saturday about them so I guess he is very, very good at being a convincing liar
I understand what you say about DB being solution based and what happened happened but if there is to be any chance of salvage I need to know the truth or it will eat me up and we'll get nowhere. My gut instinct right now is to run but I don't really want that life for my kids and can't imagine not being with him after 15 years but I just don't believe him and trust is the foundation of it all really. I'm so confused.
People with chronic Hepatitis C are advised not to share toothbrushes, razors, nail clippers or other personal articles that may have potentially been in contact with their blood.
You're both right, I do believe in my heart he is lying - his constant adamance that he is telling the truth is eating away at my gut feelings though. I just can't believe he could lie so convincingly for so long - I've told him about getting tested and that he could give the kids something and he STILL insists he's telling the truth. I just don't know how I can get him to admit it. Stupidly I didn't make a note of her email before I told him what I'd found and now it is all deleted. I feel like I'm going to go to my grave never knowing and it makes me feel physically sick. I'm feeling so angry today.
