I have a question for everyone. Our 7 year wedding anniversary is coming up on July 3rd, should i acknowledge it? Should i get her something for it? Thoughts and ideas are very welcomed.
Well i held out on texting my wife until she texted me here's the texts:
w: what are you doing
me:just workin babe, getting ready for lunch (I sent this about 30 minutes after she texted me)
w: you aren't texting me at all
me: how about you, how are the girls (I had to explain that the how about you was directed towards what was she doing)
w: gonna wash my hair the girls are good
me: i've been swamped with owrk, trying to finish up a project.... I have a design review on Thursday
w: oh ok did u play hockey last night
me: yep, had a good time
w: good
All of her replies pretty much came immediately after i sent her my replies. It felt good to be able to wait til she texts me first. She's so used to me texting her first and all the time. It feels good but at the same time it hurts.
Seriouslt no one has anything to interject here? I'm basically posting on my own thread...lol.... i never knew i was that much of a conversationalist... would love to hear some feedback
Finding it extremely hard to detach from W today. I just want to text her, talk to her and find out how she's doing and how she is. I mean i know that detaching is what i need to do and giving her her space is what she wants but i almost feel like i can't handle it anymore.
I guess i just need some encouragement, advice or insight into this. I'm currently reading DR.
^You're not being ignore, it's taking awhile for your posts to show up, due to full moderation. It is not your fault, and I apologize for the delay. We hope to approve within 24 hours, it just isn't always possible.
Well i just thought i'd stop in and give an update on what's gone on the last few days. This past Friday I played hooky from work and myself and wife took the girls to do ceramics for the afternoon. We had a blast it was very relaxing. Talked briefly with my SIL about all this at ceramics and she told me that W had said to her that last week she could of packed all her stuff and came home and that my W is sad sometimes about the sitch. Sunday we all went for a little road trip to ohio and had a good time and everything went well. We got along good and joked around a bit. W is planning on staying the night tomight and thursday night after work. I didn't ask her to stay, although i would've, but she's saying this on her own without any coaxing from me.
This Sunday is our 7 year wedding anniversary. I'm still planning on recognizing it and have already bought her a gift for it. I had purchased tickets for the Zac Brown/Kenny Chesney concert for this Saturday about a month or so ago and initially she had said no to going that she wanted to go to her Aunt's for there 4th of July party but last week i had mentioned to her about going to see the concert and she said that if we could find a babysitter for our girls that we'd go. Well on our trip to Ohio on Sunday she asked her mom to watch the girls for us and she said sure so we are going to the concert on Saturday. I'm really pumped about that.
Does anyone understand what is going on in this sitch? Cause to be honest I'm not fully sure i do yet.
Ok so as it seems as though i'm just journaling here i may as well add to it. Yesterday i had my second appointment with my counselor. It went well and i feel as though she'll be able to help me. I picked up the girls from my buddies house afterwards and we went and had dinner and bowled and then went home and hung out on the trampoline and caught lightning bugs. We had a good time and lots of fun in the few hours we got to spend together.
It was so nice to have W in our bed last night and sleep next to her although i dreaded every minute that drew closer to the morning. As i was leaving for work i couldn't help but think that they won't be there when i get home today, that made me sad and made me cry.
I'll keep posting here in the hopes that eventually someone will reply with some insight for me.
Dazed, Every new thing you do that is without your W or children will hurt. Every step away that your W takes will be like a new pain that you will swear hurts worse than any other. Im no expert but I can say that the telephone consults work.. Ive had 2 with Jody and she is great..
It helps you really see where you are doing wrong when you think you are doing right. I have managed to cease all text messages other than related to the kids and only when absolutely necessary. I would on occasion get a text from my H but that has stopped now. So it might happen that if you stop texting that your W will eventually stop as well unless related to the kids.
You said you are playing hockey are you doing anything else to GAL? Are you telling her everything that you are doing?
I had initially put "rules" on my seperation and when I pushed them to ensure i had control i ended up with the D word thrown in my face. Whether they were related specifically i dont know but the behavior was the same for me.. I have to control and I need to not control..
It does help to evaluate every single thing that comes out of your mouth before you say it. If you arent sure if it will help or hurt then I wouldnt say it. For me when I have something in my head I want to say it is like a virus if I dont say it. Im working on that for me.. You may not have such a hard time..
Goodluck! Enjoy yourself and your kids..
______________________________________ H:32 W: 35 M- 11 Tog- 13 D-5 S-9 Sep. June 5th Bomb 6/27/11 OW Discovered on July 18th and admitted.... Divorced 11/22/2011 Ex Engaged to OW Jan. 2012
Am i supposed to mention to her all the GAL things that i'm doing? I'm going away with some friends this weekend and i said to her that i would be away and wouldn't be able to see the girls. And she's been to the house and seen some of the things that i've been doing around the house.
But really am i to tell her all the GAL things? We haven't spoke or texted each other in 24 hours as or right now. That's a big milestone for the both of us but i'm sure she's busy texting OM.
I have foot in mouth disease. Sometimes i'm good at holding my tongue but other times i can't help myself and i speak my mind. I also have trouble with texting her sisters and wanting to find out what's going on. I know that's a BIG NO NO too.
I've started a new thread because i had thought that this one had died and wanted to start a new thread to get insight.
