My W and I met with the chiropractor yesterday. He thinks we both have whiplash. He took X-rays and will meet with us again today to tell us what the treatment plan is. He was concerned about the impact we had, and believes our injuries are likely significant.
I spoke with an attorney this morning, and scheduled an appointment for today.
I went to our dance class to film new material. My W stayed home. I thought it would be good to keep with normal activites. It was nice to hear the concern of friends.
I took my W to dinner after the chiropractor.
She didn't vent any negativity towards me yesterday. She asked me to look into the value of her car, so we could get a fair settlement, and to talk to the attorney to set up an initial meeting.
I'm not scheduled to return to work until Tuesday, so will keep with that, so that I can assist with preliminary accident business.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
She took off like a jackrabbit when it came to calling the insurance companies. She is impatient and it has to be handled NOW. I could have wrestled the ball from her, but she would have not given up control, and let me handle it in my own way. The dynamic exists for reasons beyond a lack of assertiveness on my part. I would have been happy to make phone calls.
That sounds reasonable to me. Our free advice is just that, and sometimes lacks the deeper perspective you have. Sometimes an objective third party is good, on the flip side we don't know everything about you and the fine points of your relationship.
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I'll admit that I was remiss in offering my assistance, to see if she wanted to shift responsibillity to me.
Offering assistance is good, shifting responsibility to you, not so good. If she took it, then she can run with it. Hope that makes sense. I may not be effectively elaborating.
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I countered that I didn't see other options to advocate for. It was a situation she was going to have to adapt to.
Fair and reasonable. She herself could have presented options. She can solve her own problems, you could support her, and I believe you would have.
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I slept in the main bedroom last night, without asking.
Cause you're a MAN baby!
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
I have taken over the lead role for the car buying project and scheduling of all appointments. We'll accomplish what we can with the free time I have until Tuesday.
We've established a relationship with an attorney and are going for fair compensation for expenses and inconvenience.
My W's wrist is still huring. I'm going to call our primary doctor and have it looked at to r/o a break.
We had our first chiropractic treatment yesterday and will see him 3X/week for 6-8 weeks. We've been told to avoid using free weight for two weeks.
My W went to her dance class last night, but looked stiff. We'll stay connected to the studio even though we'll be less than perfect.
My W would like to try acupuncture as a smoking cessation aid. She's concerned about her persistent cough. She said tht if she doesn't quit, she's afraid she's going to get seriously ill in a few years. I'm going to make an appointment for her. There is an acupuncturist at our fitness center who specializes in addictions.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
My W and I had a productive day car shopping, and putting together a plan we both agree to. We went to a quality used car dealer, two mechanics, and my W spent time online shopping. We discovered a 2001 Volvo for a price comparable to the car we lost, so we can cover it in cash. Our plan is to not add car payments to our expenses. My W is excited. My expectation was that my W not have to drive a car lower in value than what she had.
My W went to her primary doctor and had her wrist X-rayed. It is not broken.
We're taking a break from social dancing for now. My W doesn't want to turn her neck quickly, as is required on turns.
My W has her visit with the acupuncturist today. It's time for her to try something different to break her smoking pattern.
I'm frustrated not being able to do my free weights for two or more weeks, but I suppose I should be grateful for not having more serious injuries. My neck is often sore, like someone has hit me in the back of the head with an object. It's feelling better after even one chiropractic treatment.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Starsky, I've had about eight chiropractor treatments. My neck is starting to feel better for the first time since the accident. I've resumed my free weights exercise. My W's wrist isn't getting better. She's going to see an orthopedist this week to see what's wrong.
My W has had three acupuncture treatment to quit smoking. She has been able to cut down to less than 1/2 pack per day. She's having trouble getting to the quitting point. I think it's psychological at this point. I give her the space to work it out at her own pace. He r coughing has stopped due to the reduction in smoking. She's has designated our new car as nonsmoking, and has stuck to it.
We've been out dancing socially seven times already this month. We practice two nights per week at the studio in preparation for our group performance in five weeks. My W wants to increase our lessons to weekly to pick up the pace of the learning curve. I've decided that I should take advantage of having a motivated partner. I told her that weekly is fine as long as we keep up with the pace.
Our anniversary is today. I will offer to take my W to a nice restaurant.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
The dance formation team my W and I are on is helping me to be more physically expressive. The movements are large with the body and hands. It also allows me to be close to my W physically without the anxiety of sexual performance.
My W and I had dinner with our dance teachers. During the meal, we were talking about couples being expessive with one another. My W stated that she doesn't feel anything special when dancing with me (referring to th physical connection). I was embarrassed, and didn't comment on it. She acts different in front of the teachers versus when we're alone--aloof to some extent. I've learned from dancing about the ambivalence, fear, and conflict couples have towards each other, and how it's expressed in the dance. It reminds me that relationships aren't perfect.
We have a local restaurant picked out for our anniversary dinner. It's in an old downtown hotel, and may be the best restaurant in towm for fine dining.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
My W was complaining prior to our dance lesson that she still isn't dancing enough. I am thinking WTF do you want from me? We've been out dancing nine times this month. Our dance teacher, who we've been working with for over a year helped to move us forward. He thinks I'm being too careful, and too focused and wants me to pick up the pace, and put more on my plate. He states that my plate still has room on it. The problem is I only see a saucer.
He helped us to see that we're still only dancing about half the dance styles. This is my W's frustration--she's sitting out too much. We picked another dance style to add to the mix--Bolero. The plan is to resume weekly dance lessons, work on three dances at this time--Samba, Hustle, Bolero. Continue with the dance formation and add a Waltz dance formation in the fall.
I wouldn't have been able to resolve this conflict on my own. I am the one slowing things down in the dance partnership.
My W asked me to cuddle her last night.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I hope you guys have a nice day and evening; you deserve it after all of the effort you've been putting into your relationship.