When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

Ok. Did it.

We had about 30 minutes alone together this evening between running around and stuff I finally told him I needed to talk to him for a few minutes about last Friday.

I told him that I didn't really have the opportunity to answer him when he asked me if I was mad about him going out and possibly staying out all night. I told him I wasn't exactly mad so much as that brought up all of my own insecurity, fears, and demons. He immediately said, "I thought so. I could tell you were very uncomfortable and I was pretty sure I knew why." I told him that all in all I would prefer brutal honesty over having to constantly wonder what is going on. I also talked to him about the way he gives me answers when I ask a question because it bothers me terribly. He has always been very evasive in answering most questions even if they are totally innocuous. Example....last night he was sitting in the bedroom filling out a job application. I asked him what it was for and he just said, "A job." Umm...yeah. I get that. Where? "A place." Oh goody...we're going to play 20 questions. UGH. That is how it is. It's like pulling teeth. I told him it upsets me and I would just like a quick, to the point straight answer. He told me he hadn't really thought about it and just thought he was being amusing.

That is talked out. I will need to move forward to a real R talk at some point in the near future but it will wait.

[kat727]

Good for you. I bet it wasn't nearly as scary as you had it made out in your head. So remember this next time you need to have a talk and I am sure it will go just as well. Remember that neither one of you can read minds.

Kat

[whatisis]

Mish, you did great...and none of your fears came true! Good work.

[MichelleLT]

Sweetie, that IS a real R talk. Just because it wasn't about what you think is THE big issue doesn't negate the fact that you had a productive conversation about R issues.

That's great that you talked. And really great that you feel it is talked out and time to move on from it.

Great job!

[mishka422]

Thanks! I'm just moving along and not dwelling on anything. Life is FAR too short to allow myself to feel tied up in knots on a daily basis. Either he will stay and be a man and listen to my feelings when I need to express them because something is hurting me (or conversely because something is making me happy) or he won't. That is just NOT my problem.

Yes, that is my everyday speech to myself but putting it into practice is HARD!!!

I took Marc and a friend of his to see the new Pirate's movie Friday night. What a blast! If you go, make sure you stay through them entire credits because there is another short scene after that.

Gabe has a lead on getting back into law enforcement before they finish reviewing his appeal. That makes me very apprehensive but it's just the demons speaking up again. All those old fears and traumas STINK!!!!

[MichelleLT]

Keep saying it! That's a great mantra to have.

How fun about the movie! I want to go see that. I will keep that extra scene in mind. Thanks for the tip!

As much as I completely understand your apprehension, I'm sure you don't want him working these crappy jobs the rest of his life either. Getting his career back would be a big step for him in feeling better about himself and his life, feeling like he's getting back on his feet. Also moving on from the mistakes he made that led to him losing his job in the first place.

While I certainly understand the association you have, it seems to me that he had a lot of years in law enforcement prior to the depression and affair right? So, maybe you can look at it as a return to the good times, rather than as a precursor to another blow up?

[mishka422]

THANKS!

Yes, he was in law enforcement for a long time before all of that occured. He didn't start to change really until about a year and a half before the bomb. I really hope this pans out for him but he's trying hard not to get his hopes us and I'm just being encouraging without being over the top about it.

He does feel like he destroyed everything good he had in his life because of his depression and poor choices. I don't baby him and tell him he's wrong, I don't reassure him that everything is ok, because it isn't. It will never be the same again but I think that makes it that much more important to face facts and build something new.

We'll see.....

[mishka422]

He had another interview today. Next step. We'll see!!!

[mishka422]

Had to share this with you all today! A friend sent this to me and it made me laugh so hard I was crying!

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the b!tch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons - buy some Coronas.

12. Forget about the perfect man - he's living in San Fran with his boyfriend.

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

'Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there'
'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'.

[MichelleLT]

Yay for not babying him and doing things different.

Double YAY for job interviews!!!

And OMG that last one is FUNNY!!!! I might steal that!