Power of Prayer...........This is Worth the Read!

[glamgirl]

I found some friends to spend time with during the day while the kids were in school and went to the gym, shopping, out to lunch and then just focused on the kids in the evening. Less and less of my time later on was spent on my h. In fact, I had gotten rid of my cell phone for a long time too and that helped with texting and all that because I just didn't have a phone to do that, so I no longer was waiting around for my h to call or text. That actually was a blessing since before I lost my job I was tied to my phone and waiting and wondering when h would call or text.

[glamgirl]

Also Rysmom it was the healing from God that changed me. I had no more reason to send a mean text to my h and trust me I sent so many. Once God healed me from the past, my life changed dramatically. I didn't have anymore hatrid for my h. I looked at him as a very broken man that needs God in his life.

It's hard for me to describe this complete healing. It's like all that consumed me about h, ow, what we lost, our marriage it was like gone. I had no bad feelings about anything anymore. That healing from God is what opened the door for restoration of our marriage.

I just asked God to help me and boom I was healed.

[glamgirl]

Rysmom this might help to illistrate the change. Prior to my healing when my h would stop by I would barely give him a hello. I also would spend much of the time when he was visiting with the kids on my computer or watching tv avoiding him at best. I also would just think to myself can't wait until he leaves and then never walk him to the door when he left.

Once I was healed when h would stop over I would greet him at the door with a huge smile, greeting, and hug. It was like how are you h, what's new. Can I get you something to eat. Gosh it is so good to see you. Like we were old friends and I enjoyed seeing him and I had a new found love for him.

I know, this all probably sounds odd but this is what happens when God heals you and takes away all the hurt, pain, suffering inside you. It's such an amazing feeling.

[dolphin_05]

Thanks Glam, I love the honest way you have portrayed your actions in the past; the positive and the not so positive.

Your advice to Rysmom is very helpful not just to her but to others as well. Thanks!

[glamgirl]

Dolphin thanks for stopping by. This journey is so difficult on many many levels.

The problem is we are so hurt, angry, resentful towards our spouses that a reconciliation could never be possible without the forgiveness or healing from the inside.

I thought I forgave my spouse. I spoke that out loud. I said I forgave him, but really I hadn't. I wanted to, but I didn't know how. So when he would come visit, I still had all of that inside me and it showed.

It wasn't until God healed me from the inside that I truly understood what forgiveness was and I knew at that moment everything awful was gone. I could look at my life for what it was and that necessarily wasn't a bad thing. God allowed me to accept my life and my h despite all that had transpired. Now that didn't mean I wanted him home, what that meant was I was finally free for the first time in years to move forward with whatever way God had planned for my life.

I also always saw life very black and white. I thought we had this great family life, in love with each other, and this was going to be our fairy tale to the end. After I was healed that all changed and I could so clearly look at my own self and see my part in the downfall of the marriage. Now, that didn't give my h cart blanche to cheat, move out etc, but God have us free will and that was my h's free will to handle things the way he felt he needed to handle them.

I can see things so much more clearly now. The difference now though, is my h and I are grounded with God. We are allowing God to guide and direct our decisions today. Even though I was walking this journey with God, he hadn't healed me at that point so my actions and behavior was from my flesh and emotions, not from God if that makes sense.

Today I have a new found zest for life and have real hope and faith for the restoration of our marriage. God bless you Dolphin.

[glamgirl]

I also want to add that my healing was on God's timing not mine. Even though I was praying for forgiveness and restoration of my marriage and that God help me move on etc. All of those things were NOT on my timing.

God knew exactly when I needed to be healed and he did just that. I strongly believe it all coinsided with ow's death. God knew what our future held and he timed this all so perfectly.

Could I have seen that prior? The answer is NO. That is why sometime we need to be patient and keep the faith and prayers, so we can fully se what God has for our lives. For some it may be the restoration of their marriage, for others God might pave a whole new life.

God Bless!

[angel61]

Glamgirl,
I really, really take so much inspiration from you. After my Monday meltdown, I was depressed for two days and then decided to let my natural optimism take over and bring me back to a good place. I have been praying to God to let me have self control, give me insight and guide all I do.
I am starting to feel that I am truly able to forgive and put away my resentment and anger. I have turned many corners in doing this, at first it was just the words - yes, I do believe I have to forgive, but how does one go about that? Months of effort, of backsliding, of always carrying it in my heart. Now I finally do feel I am starting to take the high road. I pray to God I dn't slip. I see the role of not snooping, not investigating, in this pathway.
This morning God gave me a message, He explained to me why my H thinks I am controlling. He told me what to do.
I feel I am blessed. My H also prays, whenever we have a chance I lead our family in prayer in the evenings before sleeping - H, my D and I, and I believe it is what keeps us together.
Thanks again and keep sharing!

[glamgirl]

Angel I am glad you can find inspiration here. You are so right, how does one go about forgiving. I know I needed to forgive. I read so much on the subject, but didn't have what it took to make that happen.

For me, it was the healing from God and then the forgiveness happened just like that.

I am so glad to hear that your family prays together. That is such a great start. Keep praying Angel it is really the only way.

[25yearsmlc]

Glam
Do you work full time? I have a problem with obsessing about h and ow and what they are doing. I only work part time now. I wish i could find more work or some kind of volunteer work to get my mind off of them. I just can't shake this depression and obsessing.
I text h today and said i dont know how u can sleep at night for how you broke your son's heart. I had a lot of anger today.

Something struck me here...why bring your son into it? And leave yourself out? Think about that.

And as glamgirl says, this approach does you NO good. It fails every time.
I can't speak for God, but my guess is He wants you to start healing. You have to get out of your own way to do that. Don't stop His healing.

I usually never say anything neg. to h. I am at my wits end over this. i wake up at 4am every morning worrying about it.

still getting up at 4 am after 4 years here?...dang, Rysmom...that's just too long. The good news is that you sound as if you are sick & tired of feeling sick & tired. Maybe you are ready to be moving forward, which does NOT mean giving up...but "standing" for your m does not mean "standing still" either. How's YOUR own work going? I never did hear what your 180s are. Or the GAL activities. Yes volunteering is excellent, esp if a job isn't available. Being busy helps. (Glamgirl, you got me motivated to go back to the gym, for sure.)

[Lorie1964]

I just wanted to share that today I was really needed a sign from God that he is working on the other side of the mountain. I have a song I love and asked God for that song to play on the radio today. Well, he not only played that song but my second favorite song back to back. It was awesome! These songs are not as popular right now as they were 7 months ago when H left, but I heard them! Here are the music videos for these songs incase you don't listen to Christian music.

Come Home by Luminate

What Faith Can Do by Kutless

Here is my new favorite song
Stronger by Mandisa

Blessings!!