See? She thought of you and sent you a text message. It's something. I don't recommend going beyond Wednesday before sending her a text asking if you are still on for U2. After all, if you are going to invite someone else, you should not be doing it at the last minute.
See? She thought of you and sent you a text message. It's something. I don't recommend going beyond Wednesday before sending her a text asking if you are still on for U2. After all, if you are going to invite someone else, you should not be doing it at the last minute.
I suppose. It all just seems so weird now. To go from talking every single day to keeping track of the most minute contact.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Feeling pretty down this morning. W didn't reply to my text message or try to contact me last night.
I feel like we are in a stare down contest as to who is going to contact the other about this weekend. Either that, or she just doesn't care.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Dont think of it as such. You are giving her space like you said you would , period. The old Denver would not have done that but the new Denver is true to his word.
The concert is another kettle of fish. This is a matter of logistics. And to find some one else to go with in shor notice would be difficult. What about stepson. Is he into U2? If she doesnt want to go, maybe that would be a nice bonding experience and keep it in the family so to speak.
Just spit balling here.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
"Hey! Got your VM. Thanks for the heads up on the computer virus. I hope that your's is okay."
Was she supposed to respond?
The U2 Concert, this weekend.
While it is BIG BIG BIG in your mind. Is it in hers?
I don't know, neither do you. You make an assumption here, you make an expectation and you lose.
You made these plans awhile back, when was the last time the conert came up?
There can and are a whole slew of reasons she might or might not be bringing it up. All of them are unknown to you...and its tearing you up.
"Are you still up for the U2 concert on (Day), let me know."
There...no more pussyfooting around. No more guessing. No more assumptions or expectations.
If she says no, f-her, invite me.
If she says yes? make the plans and then leave her alone till then.
And since you know U2, bite the inside of your cheeck during some of their, Martyr songs. "With or without you." "One" you know...the ones where your going to be looking at her out of the corner of your eye, hoping it somehow breaks down her walls. : )
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Dont think of it as such. You are giving her space like you said you would , period. The old Denver would not have done that but the new Denver is true to his word.
The concert is another kettle of fish. This is a matter of logistics. And to find some one else to go with in shor notice would be difficult. What about stepson. Is he into U2? If she doesnt want to go, maybe that would be a nice bonding experience and keep it in the family so to speak.
Just spit balling here.
9
Thanks 9. It is really hard to look at this as me just giving her space. It seems so much like it is W merely easing me out of her life again.
The concert? I have a couple of buddies who I think would jump at the chance to go with me... especially since I'd be giving them the ticket. And there is a woman who I have considered asking, but I think that I am going to refrain from that for now.
SS is not a bad idea. Not sure that he's really in to U2, but he'd probably like the show.
Thanks for you thoughts man.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
"Hey! Got your VM. Thanks for the heads up on the computer virus. I hope that your's is okay."
Was she supposed to respond?
No. I didn't word it in a way that required or asked for a response on purpose. I guess I want her to know that she has asked for space, and I am giving it to her ... but without completely ignoring her.
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
The U2 Concert, this weekend.
While it is BIG BIG BIG in your mind. Is it in hers?
I don't know, neither do you. You make an assumption here, you make an expectation and you lose.
You made these plans awhile back, when was the last time the conert came up?
Last Thursday when she was very clear with me about needing space. I said to her, 'we have the U2 concert next Saturday. Should I find someone else to go with me?' She responded, 'I don't know. Let's talk about it next week'.
So far, it hasn't come up. That's why I feel like I'm in a blinking contest... who will blink first.
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
"Are you still up for the U2 concert on (Day), let me know."
There...no more pussyfooting around. No more guessing. No more assumptions or expectations.
If she says no, f-her, invite me.
If she says yes? make the plans and then leave her alone till then.
So you think that I should contact her and ask her if we are still going?
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
And since you know U2, bite the inside of your cheeck during some of their, Martyr songs. "With or without you." "One" you know...the ones where your going to be looking at her out of the corner of your eye, hoping it somehow breaks down her walls. : )
LOL... I won't Jack.
Thanks.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I personally always thought blinking contests past a certain age were pointless. : )
It's Tuesday, you have a few days, it's U2 you can find someone to go 5 minutes prior to needing to leave.
Quote:
She responded, 'I don't know. Let's talk about it next week'.
Nothing set in stone about who is to call who about it. The ubiquitous 'us/we'.
She wants space...you contacted her last night. Text, yes but contact none the less.
Give her until tomorrow or Thursday and keep it simple.
No BS guilt. "I guess I'm finding someone else to go to U2 while I play this tiny violin and mope."
"Do you want to go see U2?"
Simple.
No response?
Nothing else is needed.
And remember a big deal for you? Does not have to equate to a big deal to her.
That's what I will do Jack. Thanks.
BITS DEnver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Denver, I've been watching your threads for a while as it seems you are a couple of months ahead of where my W and I are. You're also a month and a half ahead on the concert (we, or I still assume we, are seeing U2 at the end of June). And I also feel like we're (W and I) on a tilt-a-whirl in and out of each others lives, kinda like you and your W.
The show will be a blast no matter who you go with. Just remember that. Yes, going with W would be better, but if she doesn't go it'll be her loss.
Jack, I'm going to have to take the same advice you gave to Denver. When I created a 'mix tape' for W last year, I included 'With or Without You' on it. It'll just be another song they play, right?
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
