Things are going well for me and D. The divorce is moving ahead slowly but that is okay. It will be final when it is time.
I called H on Saturday to offer an olive branch so we could get the stuff he want from the D decided. My L said it would be easier to do this. He was pleasant at first and then the ugly head of MLC reared up. He said that he was living from paycheck to paycheck and that I wasn't getting everything the L says I would. He said that he was going to stop paying for the mustang, the car I have. I told him that it would be foolish on his part since there are only 4 payments left. My L said he will pay and if it comes down to it we will do an emergency hearing to make sure he does. As he became moe angry I told him that I was hanging up and didn't have to listen to it anymore.
So Easter he calls and asked to come over and see D and when the kids left we could talk. I told him that was fine but it was Easter and I wasn't going to stand for any chaos or arguments.
We all had a good day. When the kids left we went over everything. He doesn't want anything but his tools, his old bronco and his truck. So what was all the fuss about?? He is mad that I am in control.
Anyway, we talked for a while and he said that he still has alot of issues and that maybe in the future we could try again. I told him that time would tell but this D is something I have to do for myself to heal. He said he understood and then we both cried.
I am actually holdig up pretty well and keeping the home front running. D is doing good for the most part, but still misses her dad. We are keeping busy and outside alot!!!
YR, Your h is just one confused basket case, isn't he? He doesn't have a clue as to what he wants and after all of this time and mess he's stirred up, he thinks that you'll roll over and allow him to jerk you around? I don't think you will or are going to allow that to happen.
He so very dearly wants to be in control and to show you who is controlling the purse strings, but unfortunately, he's going to find out the hard way that life isn't always as easy as 1,2 or 3.
God and the law are on your side. As long as you are being honest and doing the right thing, everything will fall into place and that's what I see happening here.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am hanging in there, better than Ithought I would!!
He is a basket case right now. But what he has forgotten, I have seen this all before. LOL He has to understand that I am fighting for D and me and no one, no one is going to stand in my way. I am not trying to be mean to him and have been very understanding but he has to realise that this was his making and we are not going to suffer for it.
I only want what is fair and am not trying to take him to the cleaners. I won't let him stomp all over me in the process. I am in CONTROL!!!!!
He is feeling the pinch now. It isn't so much fun having to do it all for himself!! Poor baby! (that was mean lol) It's the truth, reality is hitting him!!
YR your h is a triple basket case imo - first because he is MLC, and they all are anyway, second it is his second attempt [doh] and thirdly he is leaving you. Nutso.
However, he might say he only wants his tools NOW, but be prepared for an 'it's not fair you got all the good stuff' sob story down the line. My xh was very high and mighty about not wanting any of this 'stuff' I did give him a second attempt to have what he wanted, and he then took quite a lot, but he was still moaning about how little he got towards the end of the divorce process. [Also see Antonia B's posts] My lawyer was very brisk about that. As you and Snodderly have noted, it is about control. Thing is when the divorce is over they don't have ANY control over us at all . . . . or actually any right to see or speak to us, at least where I live.
My H is a big one on 'blood money' and people fighting over things after a death in the family. Well, divorce is a death in the family, and he's as greedy as any step-cousin twice removed I've ever heard of.
I listed all the things he 'stole' from our storage building as his and placed a price of replacement on them. He seems very upset that I haven't kicked up a fuss.
Stay in control, YR, just think your steps through calmly and clearly.
Anyway, we went through the property he wanted, I turned it into my L and they are going to file it with the court and then his L gets it to review with him. I am ready for anything. Nothing he does anymore surprises me.
The mustang, my car, he was supposed to finish paying off now he says he doesn't know if he can afford to do so. I am still paying car insurance for all the vehicles and I can stop it in a heartbeat. I will pay mine and he can pay his. He only owes 2000 on the mustang and if need be I will pay it. My L says to wait and see if he pays it on the first before we do anything.
He knows that I a serious and when my back is put to the all I won't back down.
