I know it is awful... but especially after what happened in court, you have to know your X is not going to communicate with you. You found out your S told his GF you left his dad--- how? You have a friend in your X's workplace... maybe you have a couple back channels via which you can get info re: your S without going through your X.
As long as you know your he's okay, you should leave him alone.
I dont want to get my friend involved because she is xh's boss. I dont want to ask her to find out anything. My sons gf added me on fb and told me she knew everything that had happened and went on to say some things that son had told her. She thought I was on drugs. (cant believe that), and that son told her I left his dad. I told her the truth then told her I could not be on her page on fb. I thought about it and I didnt want my son to think I am spying on him or getting in his business. That would only make things worse. Although I would love to know what he is doing. I just cant do that. I dont talk to her much and actually I think she and my son have broke it off. So I sit and wonder and pray. I pray that the anger will leave his dad and he will come to his senses someday and realize I am NOT the enemy in this. I just figured it had been two yrs. I mean two yrs. Do they really stay angry that long????? I have never heard of anyone on here being that angry that long. I am in fear that if my son needed me, my xh would not contact me. In fact, I know he wouldnt. BUT I can NOT make my xh talk to me, and be civil to me. Andabelle he has a wife and is happy. I DO NOT want him back adn he knows this. BUT we cant erase that we have a son together. Do you agree?
Renee, sorry, but I call it like I see it and I call B.S. on your excuse to call your XH. You know beyond any reasoning that this man will not talk to you no matter what! Why didn't you just call your son? Please stop trying to make your XH talk to you! Let it go! Your son is a grown man, call him! If he doesn't want to talk to you, fine, but quit trying to use your son as an excuse to see if you can get your XH to speak to you! I don't mean to sound harsh, but lets get real, this isn't a little boy, your son is a 21 year old man!
Braveheart believe what you want but this time you are WRONG! First off you need to reread what i wrote. I DID NOT call my xh. He answered the phone and while I had the chance I asked about our son.....or tried to. I cant call my son because he changed his number and I dont have it and cant get it. BH I dont want my xh to talk to me. If I could contact my son I could care less if he ever talked to me. I have someone in my life and I have moved on. BUT I will NOT move on from without my son in my life. Where my son wants to be in it right now or not. I am STILL HIS MOTHER and I still worry about him and always will. Why do you think I want my xh to speak to me????? He is remarried with a baby. I will not EVER be the person my xh is. If he walked up to me today and spoke nice I would speak back BUT not because I NEED to. Only because he is my sons father and will be grandparents some day, if my son chooses. It really amazes me that you think this. Do you think I dont have a need to speak to my son? Do you think I am making all this up? Really come on BH. Its been 2 yrs and one and half of that I havent spoken with my son. My xh is the last thing on my mind right now....honestly.
I am sorry you are going through all this. Like you, I have a very mean and nasty mid-lifer. It is going on 5 years and he is still extremely angry. Just last week me and my brothers ran into ex at a restaurant and ex was beyond angry. He said some very nasty things to me. They have not dealt with all their issues. Behind all the anger is fear and pain.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Unfortunately some of them stay P.O.'d forever. You can't expect your X to be rational or reasonable, because he just isn't. I know it isn't right, but there's nothing you can do to change it.
Renee, I realize you called the number not expecting the XH to answer, but you did recognize his voice and you did ask about your son. This man has taken restraining orders for you in the past, has made it clear he never wishes to speak to you again, ever. So, knowing the facts; What in God's green earth ever gave you the idea to speak to him about anything? Do you have a right to worry about your son? SURE! Do you have the right to try to talk to your son? SURE! Renee, listen to me, please, do not under any circumstances try to talk to this man again about ANYTHING!! Btw.... You could have gotten your son's phone number from his girlfriend when you spoke to her on facebook.........
Trusting it says in your sig that he asked for forgiveness. He must not hate u too bad. Thank u for being concerned. Not talking to my child is very heartbreaking. I thought the divorce was bad...but it doesn't compare.
BH, I could have asked his gf for the number but... 1. She prb wouldn't have given it to me because she knows how son feels right now.....and 2. I wouldn't want to put her in the middle, as bad as I want to speak to him, I have got to let him come to me. I have got to let God handle it. Besides he would do what his father did and hang up
And...as far as xh...well I should have known better to even try to ask him anything. I guess I just keep hoping after so long maybe his anger will dissipate. I keep hoping that the man I married yrs. ago is still in there somewhere. I am naive I guess. I have a really big heart and could never hold a grudge. I am very forgiving and actually for hat I thank God.
