Midnight last night: STBX calls me hysterical, asks me to come over. Something is wrong, and I know it. I go over.
OM is outside with police. All his crap is on the porch. I go inside and ask STBX what happened. Apparently she ended things w/OM and he didn't take it well. Threatened suicide. Started waving a knife around. She called me and the cops.
She tells me she's been desperately missing me, but has been too scared and embarrassed to ask me to come back. She knows she messed up the best thing she's ever had. Wrote the person that married us an email saying how she is devastated by guilt and regret. She's started attending religious services. She doesn't care about any of the things she was upset about in the R before. Nothing is worse than a life without me. Asks me to spend the night.
ML x 2.
Told her that I make no guarantees about anything. Told her I've been seeing someone. Told her that I don't know if I am willing to break it off immediately. She begs and pleads just like I did after D-Day
I told her this: if she sends a NC text message to OM immediately, this second, then I will allow her to come to my next IC. That's it. No other guarantees or promises.
She sends a message, with no questions asked as I dictate it to her. Something to the tune of "I will not be contacting you and you may not contact me via any means. I am recommitting to my marriage."
She has painted the house all in the color palette I wanted, instead of the one she wanted.
I tell her that the next step, if I decide to take it will be complete and total transparency.
She has an interview for a new job, and leaves for it.
I go home. On the way I call my mother. Tell her that STBX wants to reconcile. Immediate NO! NO! She'll do this to you again!!!
Had date w/ G for tonight. Cancelled it, and told her the gist of what was going on.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
Don't think about it that way. YOu are her H. plain and simple.
To warn you though, it's not uncommon for there to be false R. Talk to your C immediately about what steps you should take. Be cautiously optimistic.
This is what is going to happen. She's going to serve you hand and foot and it will seem like a second honeymoon. Within a week or two, you'll see her pull back. That's why this time period is VERY crucial to see if your M will survive. Don't give her everything. She has to continue to work towards your M.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
She's going to get very little except a lot of hoops to jump through. I won't let this be easy for her. I'm more concerned with making sure she means it than I am about keeping her attracted to me.
Yes, I am aware that this attitude is likely to keep her attracted to me. Not my problem.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
I have asked her to send me an email that states she is actively seeking reconciliation, and has explicitly invited me back into her life, the house, and her bed.
I told her that this will make me feel more secure that none of this is going to bite me in the ass legally.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
