My kids have been away on vacation for 10 days now in Africa.
On Saturday I received an email from my X telling me how good the kids have been on their trip and that the kids are dying to talk to me. She told me they would call the next day. She signed her email with "Big Hugs"
What does "Big Hugs" mean?
The next day they all called. The kids were excited to tell me stories etc. It was nice to hear from everyone. Today I am not feeling so great. My family is off on a huge trip that I would have been on.
I just seem to be stuck with this one aching feeling. It just feels like my X is so happy and not bothered in the slightest by all of this. It just seems like a perfect world for her. It's like she has never been happier and I was just a passing phase in her life. Honestly I feel like I was just a sperm donor.
Not feeling warm and fuzzy today.
On Friday I am going to the airport to pick up my kids. It's my weekend with them so my X suggested that I could get them at the airport.
Arrrrgggg...just venting
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
i'm still interested in seeing how the completely ignoring her works - give it some time - either (most likley) it will be over and youre out of limbo or (much less likely) shell reconsider - at least youll be out of this nightmare....
I actually was doing really well. I went a whole week not having any contact as she was in Africa. It's funny how a couple of words can suck you right back in.
In a way I don't think any of us every truly get out of the nightmare if we have kids.
You probably read that my MIL sent me an email photo of my x and my kids in Africa last week. It was so weird to get that. Only a photo came, no note, no subject. I wrote her a quick reply and never heard anything back. She has never sent me anything before.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
This whole journey is still amazing to me. I am so sick of all of it. My XH made a big leap back into the tunnel today and I am really feeling done with all of his games and stuff. If I don't put an end to it, it will never end and I can't live like this anymore. He is not going to be better anytime soon, and I am sick and tired of waiting, it is too hard.
The email from your MIL is very perplexing to me. I don't know what to think of that, and it isn't me, so I can only imagine what you think and feel about it. That is a weird one, forsure. My guess is that she has huge guilt over what her daugher has done. I know if it were my daughter, I would! I have and continue to try to raise my kids with compassion, morals, integrity, honesty, and to treat people as you would want to be treated. They have watched my XH do horrible things to me and really to them too...and I haven't always handled it right, but in the end I have used it as a learning tool. If it was my child doing what your XW is doing, I would be beyond disappointed in her, as my daughter and as the person I raised. I don't care how much you love your child, wrong is wrong and as a parent you know that deep down. But, this is one of those things you will never really know the answer to and it is best to just forget it and move on.
Have a great time with your kids when they get back. They will be so thrilled to see you, you are an amazing dad and I so wish I had chosen a "real" man and father like you for my kids. My kids got jiped and it [censored]!!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
I am sick of all this as well. I think we are all sick of the in and out of the tunnel stuff.
Thank you so much for saying that I am a good dad. I love being with my kids. It gives me the greatest joy in the world. I would rather be with my kids than go out dating.
March break is coming up so I will have my kids for 2 weeks !! We are going away skiing, going to a piano concert, going to the indoor BMX park, going to a maple syrup festival, Supercross motorcycle race etc....
You hang in there too and thanks again for always relying to me when I am having a challenging day.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
I am not aware of any. Of course Michele's books cover chapters on this.
It's pretty straight forward:
GAL = be all that your are and how you were when you first met your spouse. Be dedicated to something your are passionate about....work, hobbies etc.
Act As if = Be positive and move forward with your life.
Focus on yourself = take the time to explore all that makes you happy as an individual. Take the time to learn about yourself, relationships, communications etc.
Focus on your kids = Make their lives the best you can given the situation.
That is really all you can do at this point. You have to leave your spouse to do what they need to do as they are going to do it anyway.
That being said, it still all [censored] ! There are good days and there are bad days. When I leave my X alone she becomes friendlier. When I reciprocate warm and fuzzy feelings she pulls back.
It's such a waste, but there is nothing you can do about it other than all you are doing.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
