Count your blessings instead of sheep...

[mishka422]

Oh goodness BBJ! So sorry to hear your mom is having such a rough time. COPD is so scary! My uncle had that. Of course, we all called it by it's old name.....emphesema (or however you spell it!). Hopefully they have gotten her O2 levels to stabilize.

Saving is SO important. Glad to hear you have a plan!

Hugs to you and prayers for your mom.

[kat727]

Sorry about your Mom. My Dad has COPD too. He has to use oxygen every night and whenever he might exert himself. The sad thing is that he never smoked a day in his life.

So is she on oxygen all of the time? How long as she had it? I will keep her in my prayers. It seems like there is a bunch of people in need of extra thoughts and prayers lately.

kat

[BobbiJo]

Stupid internet!! Not sure why but the past few days this site was being screwy. I would log in, get to my thread, and it would say I was not logged in. So I would log in again, click on this forum, click on my thread, and it would say I was not logged in!?! Grr...

Well Dan and I had total and complete radio silence for just over 48 hours, sadly but truly that is the longest we have ever gone without a text or a call even if just a call to say goodnight to the kids...

He pi$$ed me off in a major way on Sunday while simultaneously hurting my feelings. I allowed myself to cry for about 5 minutes and then decided he did not deserve to steal any more of my day from me, so I got up and went out. Saw a great play and laughed and moved on.

Not sure what happened to trigger it, we had texted on and off about kid stuff while he was in Mexico last week, even as recently as Saturday evening re. him taking the kids tonight while I had parent teacher conferences.

Then Sunday I texted him (that is an exchange day for us) and said I was planning to take kids to sunday school and church if that was ok with him. Usually if i have the kids I take them to sunday school and then deliver them to him after church. If he has kids he drops them off at church with me...

ANYway, he replied back that that was fine. After church I asked the plan. He said bring them over after lunch. So we went out to lunch in town and coincidentally where we went, his parents (my former inlaws) were there with SIL and her two little girls. My kids were thrilled to see them as SIL lives 3 hrs away...so we ate lunch together.

I texted Dan that we were finishing lunch and would be there by 1 p.m., in case he was out at the farm doing chores and not at home.

He replies, "Fine, when ever." "Just send them in whenever"

This struck me odd bc we almost always walk the kids up to each other's house. I was in the car by this time and replied, "Ok, do i have cooties? " trying to be light hearted.

He replied back, "No it's just best for you"

??? WTF does that mean?

I dropped kids in his driveway and left, and got another text he had sent with the prior one that said, "Nope, just do not care to see you"

Sorry but I just find that odd. Like I had done something to make him mad? Sure, he cheated, he moved out, he is the one 10-14 days behind every month with alimony and child support checks, and all this time I have naively been kind and a team player.

Well forget that. I did not even reply to that last text. Although I am concerned that my first reaction/thought was, "What did I do? Why is he mad at me?" as if somehow it was my fault he was being a d!ck...

I made an appt with my counselor, haven't seen her since November as I have been too busy. I want to find a tougher counselor though who makes me do more work. I don't like feeling hope and having trouble letting go. It isn't a good feeling at all.

Anyway I did not reply to his snide comment and had not contacted him since. Then tonight D had dancing and he took her since I am at conferences. I sent him a verrry short email "Sydney dance clothes on steps, bag at studio" because he has never ever taken her so all her stuff is with me. Except I left bag at studio last week in my rush to get to hospital for mom.

He replied back asking what time he should pick her up and then a couple random thoughts/comments about Nathan (he seems tired, needs a nap, etc etc) but I didn't respond to any of that.

From now on communication will be strictly on a need-to-know, requires-an-answer basis. And via email or text, no need to talk or see each other.

I think it stinks for the kids bc they liked doing things together but they will have to learn to get used to it this way...and maybe it will help me with the letting go part. I don't want to have to be angry at him to stop having hope. I just want to let it all go for real.

[ClingingToHope]

I don't know if you'll ever let it totally go. Not a judgement. I can't imagine ever totally letting go.

[mishka422]

I really think that will be best for you BBJ. The less contact you have with him the better. Need to know info only, no niceties, no joking around...that only opens the door for him to abuse you further. Don't allow it!

[Daybreak]

Bobbi,

As someone who is on the flip side of your sitch, I agree with Mish - the less contact, the healthier it will be for you in the long run. Stick to the essential facts regarding the kids (school, health, etc.) but do your best not to respond to anything else...