Need Advice!! Not sure on next move? Part 2

[2stepboogie]

Well then the DB couch has spoken. Who is your coach dixie? I think she has given you great advice

[lostinscared]

I am praying so hard for you, Dixie. I am so happy that you are feeling good about this. I am so glad the coach gave you that confidence. You flew an airplane, Dixie. How freaking awesome is that??? You should have confidence!

[Denver_2010]

Well Dixie... I can't argue with your DB Coach. She/he is the expert. That all sounds like very good advice.

I will also encourage you to really keep that "excusing yourself to the bathroom" idea in mind when you go. I used that during my dinner with W when I began to feel emotional. It helped. A LOT.

BITS
Denver

[Firstlove]

Dixie

I think you got good and valid advice from your DB coach. And as to the spouse, be it either H or W, I agree 100% that we should never participate in the destruction of our marriage and our family, because that is what divorce does, it destroys. I know that my wife sees divorce as the ONLY solution to our problems- and she won't even talk for 2 minutes about them or go to counseling with me - her ONLY course of action is this

1. Stay away with on contact
2. Never talk
3. Refuse to go for counseling
4. Divorce is the only answer to the problem

that is my challenge here. I will not participate in the destruction of my marriage and family - if my W wants that, she is going to have to do that 100% on her own. I will not even agree to sign D papers if it comes to that. If she serves me with D papers, I will merely throw them out. Somehow I don't think I am going to be put into jail for that and I don't think that God will be disappointed with me for not tearing down that which He created even though my wife wants to. Basically I am taking the attitude that its ME AND GOD against the W - two against one - and I am counting on my team to win the day.

FL

[Firstlove]

whoops Item 1 above was supposed to be

1. Stay away without contact

[dixiegal]

Thanks BITS! 2Step my coach is Joanne! She is just so great...she books up fast so give her a call...

Ya know, I take lots of notes while the coach is talking to me. Then, I re-read and re-write it all out. So, to soak it all in. I gotta tell ya...the C said, that I am ready. She feels I am ready either way. Yall know what? I think so too.

Now, don't get me wrong I'm scared still. But, like Firstlove said. I'm walking in that place w/GOD on my side and all the BITS! I'm gonna arrive a bit early and go over my notes and pray. Then walk in and remind him of the girl he fell in love with all those years ago by my actions & responses.

Denver, I thought about you alot and how you did almost what she was saying to the letter. You didnt show your hurt, anger and etc. till you got home in private. You listened and let her talk. Your my Hero Denver...I'm gonna go in that joint and show H who he is walking away from the new me (old me, that I use to be). If he still walks away...that's alright cause, I'm still taking me back!

I'm gonna make it one way or another...All the BITS are going too. I pray for all our Marriages to be SAVED! I know we can't make our spouses choose us..but, I wont give my H the excuse he needs to D me either. I can only control my behavior and how I respond. If he chooses D, it's because of the lies he has told himself. Not, because of how I showed him anger, resentfulness or was aloof. I'm showing him LOVE in it's purest form.

So, 48 hours till count down...

Ps. LIS Thanks for keeping me in your prayers!

BITS
xoxo

Dixie

"Life is short, Pray hard"

[Firstlove]

Dixie

Just my two cents worth here as you go to the dinner showing your H the "new" Dixie. No matter what he says - you show the following

FIRST
Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind. Henry James

SECOND
One of the main things that my W maintains without reservation is that it is literally IMPOSSIBLE for me to change and I will always be the self-centered controlling manipulative person she sees me as being. One of my prayers is that irregardless of what she says, does or in fact does not do, that in everything I say and do she will see the Fruits of the Spirit living thru my actions and my words. As you well know the Fruits of the Spirit are;

Love, Peace, Faithfulness, Joy Goodness, Gentleness, Patience, Self-control and Kindness.

We all have opportunities each and every day to exhibit these fruits with everyone we come into contact with.

So my advice to you on the dinner with your H - is be a FRUITY as possible - but you know what I mean. Irrespective of what he says or does not say or do, let him see the Fruit on your tree of life, and if he does decide to D he will see what he is walking away from and will be missing in his life should he choose to make that very grave error in his life.

Just my two cents worth here

FL

[dixiegal]

Firstlove... I LOVE IT!!!! Thank you so much...I'm gonna go in Fruity!!

Your in the BITS now..."Boys/Babes in the S*it" Or "Boys/Babes in tough S#it"...

Welcome to the club!!

[Denver_2010]

I think that sounds great Dixie! I can't wait to hear how it goes for you! I feel really confident for you though...

Firstlove... that was great advice...

And yes, and open invite into the BITS club!

BITS
Denver

[Firstlove]

Thanks Denver and Dixie - I feel all flushy here being part of the BITS - is there like a badge or hat or jacket that we can all wear ?

Seriously though, FRUITS-R-US -that is the attitude that I am taking with my W, she cannot believe that anyone can change, especially me, so every chance I get I am going to be as fruity as I can be. They say that California is the land of fruits and nuts, so I choose to be one of the fruits and she can be one of the nuts I suppose.

BITS r Us

Firstlove